The Dreaded Hypochondria Variant

2022 is already gettin’ real, yo.

Teacher spends hours in plane toilet after she learns she has Covid mid-flight

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“POV: You test positive for Covid while traveling over the Atlantic Ocean,” a now-viral TikTok reads.

That’s what happened to Marisa Fotieo, a Chicago teacher, when she was travelling to Switzerland on Dec. 20. It led to her spending four hours isolating in an airplane bathroom, she told WZZM.

I remember when the first symptom of sickness was a runny nose or achy joints. Now it’s, what, a smartphone notification or something?

Wait, how do you TEST POSITIVE from inside an aircraft? Did the flight crew stick a Q-tip up her nose after take-off? Seems a little late… but maybe they wanted an excuse to chuck a mystery-meat Chicongo school Not-See out the door halfway across the North Atlantic. I’ve had to resist that urge myself.

And why did the Swiss Air Force not shoot down the airliner in a desperate effort to quarantine the country? Did they appreciate her nobly hogging the bathroom for half the flight so everybody else had to shit their pants, which is totally NOT how disease ACTUALLY gets spread? That doesn’t sound like the Swiss. They’re very clean.

The video, which as of Dec. 30 has 4.3 million views, caught the attention of many as coronavirus infections surged, in large part because of the omicron variant. Fotieo explained her situation and brought viewers along in her journey in the comments and follow-up videos.

Fotieo, who grew up in East Grand Rapids, explained she’d taken two negative PCR tests before beginning her holiday journey.

She brought some at-home rapid antigen tests with her on the flight, just in case. The Illinois teacher said she ended up using the tests when her throat began to feel sore mid-flight.

She took a test in the bathroom about one hour into her flight — and tested positive.

“I can’t believe I spent four hours in that bathroom,” Fotieo told WZZM. “But you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.”

When commenters wondered if she was a rare false positive case, she replied and said she was certain she had the coronavirus.

“I thought possibly, but they tested me on my layover and PCR was positive,” the Michigan native wrote. “I never made it to my destination. Quarantined in Iceland now.”

Ohhh, so that’s why Switzerland didn’t shoot down the airliner. They didn’t get the chance! When a hysterical wimminz locked herself the bathroom screaming on world social media that she had the plague, they diverted the entire flight to the most quarantine-able country in Europe.

A flight into HELL, that must have been. Women most affected!

Fotieo then faced a 10-day quarantine in a Red Cross Humanitarian Hotel in Iceland as medical personnel supervised her health and brought her food, according to WZZM.

Although Fotieo’s hopes for her vacation were dashed, she said a flight attendant from Icelandair took it upon herself to care for her.

Was that flight attendant’s name Chad, Fabio or Rocky?

Fotieo said Ragnhildur “Rocky” Eiríksdóttir, the flight attendant on Fotieo’s flight, reached out to her and dropped off a care package full of isolation goodies, including a Christmas tree so she could celebrate the holiday, according to NBC.

Dayumn, these people are un-mockable!

While filming her reaction to the bags stocked with snacks and flowers, Fotieo began tearing up.

“Please excuse the dramatics, it’s been a long two days,” she wrote.

“She’s our flight attendant now,” a commenter declared.

Rocky even dropped off Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas gifts for Fotieo.

“I can confidently say that I would have probably cried for 10 days straight had it not been for Rocky,” Fotieo told WZZM.

While she’s counting down her days in isolation, Fotieo is documenting her Iceland journey, all from the safety of her hotel room to her new followers.

And in the meantime, she’s trying to find ideas on how to thank Rocky — whom she calls “an angel on this Earth” — for all her help.

Having his baby will start the healing. Baby-trapping a clueless, thirsty Beta upon her return will pay for it.

I tried to track down what happened to the rest of the flight. This is the best I could do:

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Fotieo grew up in East Grand Rapids, but now lives in Chicago where she teaches early childhood education. Over the holidays, she planned a trip to Switzerland with her brother and father.

They left on December 20th from Newark, New Jersey, on an Icelandair flight to Reykjavik, Iceland, where they had a layover.

About an hour into the five-hour flight, Fotieo said her throat started to hurt. She had brought along several COVID-19 rapid test kits, and went to the bathroom to take one.

Full-on hypochondria, with the complication that her father allowed it. There is no good reason to do this. Once you get on the plane, taking a test will either come back negative or force a lot of people to go far out of their way for no possible benefit.

“And within about two seconds, the test came back positive,” Fotieo said. “I freaked out and ran out of the bathroom and found the first person I could see. Luckily it was this amazing flight attendant named Rocky.”

“Daddy, when did you first meet my mommy?”

“It was on a transatlantic airplane. I was flight crew and she was the double-masked weirdo screaming about being diseased from inside the bathroom with half a dozen Covid self-tests. I knew instantly that I was never going to do better than her! Then, I welded the bathroom door shut!”

Fotieo credits Ragnhildur “Rocky” Eiríksdóttir with keeping her calm and collected. Rocky asked her to wait in the bathroom while she figured out what to do.

“I could hear something over the intercom that said something about a passenger on board testing positive,” Fotieo said, “and that it is very important for everyone keep their masks on as much as possible,”

“This is the captain speaking. Suck on your face diapers EVEN HARDER because we atheists can’t pray the rosary! Flight attendants, break out the duct tape.”

Rocky returned, telling Fotieo that it was a full flight so there was no extra room to space her out.

“There were like 150 people on board,” said Fotieo, “so I said I would just stay in the bathroom for the rest of the flight.”

Which explains why not one of them managed to reach Fotieo with a blunt object.

During her flight from the cramped airplane bathroom, Fotieo filmed a short TikTok video that has now been viewed almost four million times. “I can’t believe I spent four hours in that bathroom,” Fotieo said, “but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.”

Apparently, “what you’ve got to do” is notify the entire world as quickly as possible that you’re the evil bitch that ruined Christmas for 150 people, an airline and the International Red Cross because you’re a world-class hypochondriac who can’t stop testing herself for Chinky Pox.

Where was Daddy in all this? How completely can a man fail to discipline and control his daughter?

Foteio said she had taken five of the rapid tests in the days before leaving and they were all negative. She explained that she’s been very vigilant of COVID-19 safety because she wanted to keep her father safe.

Her mother passed away two years ago, so she said her father’s health is extremely important.

Feckless Baby Boomers, man. “Humanity must make sacrifices to protect my fragile health or I won’t be able to safely vacation in the Swiss Alps for Christmas!”

“For the past two years, keeping him safe has really been top-of-mind,” said Fotieo, “so knowing that he was on the plane I just knew I had to stay in the bathroom.”

That and blunt objects.

Fotieo’s brother and father both tested negative when they landed, and the two continued on to Switzerland while Fotieo had to stay in Iceland for a 10-day quarantine. She was put up in a Red Cross Humanitarian Hotel at no charge.

She sacrificed her mental health then her vacation for her father, who then cut her loose to die alone as quickly as the State permitted. But she ended up okay because Rocky was there to comfort her! What a good role model Daddy is being!

On the bright side, it sounds like the 147 innocents were also allowed to salvage their Christmas.

“They have medical personnel here that check on me and bring me food three times a day,” Fotieo said, and looking back on it, I’m so happy it turned out the way it had to because I’ve been cozy in here.”

Her quarantine period started December 20th and would end on December 30th, so she’d spend the Christmas holiday alone. To her surprise though, the flight attendant who’d helped her on board, Rocky, dropped off a special package to Foteio on Christmas Eve.

“She sent me a little Christmas tree with lights to dangle around it, a note, a warm dinner, and presents to open on Christmas day,” said Fotieo.

Fotieo said she was emotional that Rocky really went above and beyond to make sure she had a happy holiday despite her situation and isolation.

“I can confidently say that I would have probably cried for 10 day straight had it not been for Rocky,” said Fotieo, “and Icelandair as a whole really made this experience joyful and memorable, and it was really so heartwarming.”

Fotieo said she was really surprised that her TikTok video got as much attention as it did, and she has since continued to update her profile with videos of her quarantine experience and Rocky’s generosity.

Everybody loves to watch a train wreck, especially on an airplane. Fotieo, we are endlessly grateful to NOT BE YOU.

Fotieo said her father and brother plan to return to Reykjavik when her quarantine period is over and then they will spend four days in Iceland doing excursions like snow-mobiling and seeing the Northern Lights.

Chicongo schoolteachers must be the emotional version of professional athletes: paid megabucks in compensation for early, severe and incurable damage to their health.

We are no longer able to avoid the insane.

6 thoughts on “The Dreaded Hypochondria Variant

  1. I read about this incident the other day, courtesy of This is the kind of story that will explain why, in less than two decades, Amerika is going to resemble Bangladesh or Burkina Faso, except with a population that is 100 percent mentally retarded.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So… is this how the Powers that Be have boosted the “case” count so high? Everyone’s just taking rapid tests every day until they pop positive with a sore throat? A blunt object would definitely be appropriate here.


  3. Today at the grocery store I saw a bottle of Clorox toilet bowl cleaner which proclaimed: “Kills the Covid-19 Germ!”

    I never knew I could catch Covid from my toilet, especially since I live alone. But if anyone’s worried about Covid germs lurking in their toilet, Clorox is the cleaner for you.


  4. I remember when people would come to work with a sore throat. Now it’s a 10-day quarantine and an international social media sensation???

    Behold! The power of propaganda. The founders of Pravda must have, however briefly, smiled in Hell.


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