In the wake of Christmas, it’s time to sit back, relax a moment and take stock of our lives. This post looks at where we’ve been; the next will look at where we’re going.
Don’t read this for the content. The content is hatchet-job slime. Instead, read this to consider the moral bullets that you’ve successfully dodged for two years! Had you not stood your ground against lies and wickedness, had you filled your brain with the Approved Narratives, you could have ended up like THIS joyless Bob Marley!
NORAD’s Christmas Eve Santa Claus tracker needs to end
By Hayes Brown, 24 December 2021
This Christmas Eve, the United States military will be busy “tracking” Santa Claus’ sleigh as it makes its reindeer-powered journey across American airspace. What’s today known as the North American Aerospace Defense Command, or NORAD, has been doing so each holiday season for over 60 years. If I had my way, this year would be the last.
Which of the following best describes your motivation?
- The servicemen manning North America’s defense grid instead of spending Christmas with families should not be allowed any morale-boosting because they probably voted for Trump.
- Santa Claus is a secret code for Christ Jesus.
- Bah humbug.
- Bah whitey-bug.
- It’s wrong to lie to kids except to get them vaxxed.
- Santa is real and using his white privilege to not drive on racist highways!
- Santa is real and leading an insurrection!
- Santa gave me a stocking full of coal, knowing that I’m a Climate Change activist!
- Nobody made a big statue of Santa that we can tear down so this is the next best thing.
- I’m an ungrateful, toxic, militantly atheist piece of dogshit that hates to see people be happy.
Take your time. There are no wrong answers because ALL of them are political. And this guy is consumed with politics.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a Scrooge or some kind of anti-Santa advocate prone to humbuggery…
Hold that thought.
…and I acknowledge that the story behind how NORAD’s predecessor started the tradition is cute: a typo in a newspaper for Sears’ Santa hotline was the number for a secret line of communication, originally designed to give the orders to launch a nuclear onslaught against and/or in response to the Soviet Union. Heartwarming stuff, folks.
RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!
[Skip Trump Derangement]
No, I’d prefer we end the tradition because it’s about time that we decoupled St. Nick from the world’s most powerful military.
Nobody associates Santa Claus with the United States military. YOU’RE A SCROOGE! Humbugging that the NORAD tracker is a sneaky publicity stunt!
American culture is saturated with a desire to associate the military with the saccharine. We get videos of soldiers returning home to their pets or children but never questions about why they were deployed for so long or what threat they were fighting, military jets flying over NFL games give us an injection of jingoist testosterone before more regionally focused battles of testosterone are played on the field; and we get the Netflix movie “Operation Christmas Drop,” a seasonally themed rom-com that cheerfully seeks to boost approval for America’s military base in Guam.
Politics has consumed this guy entirely, to the point there’s no joy in his life.
He sees soldiers returning to their families and complains they aren’t depicted hating his enemies.
He sees planes doing fly-bys at events and seethes that the crowd is pointing and cheering, because that’s goodwill for the OTHER team!
He watches a silly movie on Netflix and grinds his teeth that a political faction other than his own is getting screentime.
There’s no peace left in his life, no time for doubt or reflection or simple pleasures. There is only the politics of envy, of making other people less so he can be more at their expense. Even as an opinion piece, this should never have seen the light of day.
[Lies about the Pentagon whitewashing murder sprees with toy deliveries to Micronesia omitted.]
Earlier this month, a friend of mine mused on Twitter: “wonder if this will be the year NORAD finally kills Santa.” It’s a great joke, which prompts this hypothetical: If the Air Force did accidentally target Santa, say during one of his stops outside the U.S., would we hear about it? Would the resulting loss of life be deemed “credible”? Or would it just be another case investigated and tucked away in the Pentagon’s files?
This is the end stage of the collectivist path: joking about killing Santa in ways that make an opposing government faction look bad, instead of having a laugh at the NORAD tracker and moving along.
This is what we avoided by standing firm upon our convictions: the state of, well, not having any convictions, merely animal appetites and a lust for worldly power. What a change it is, to seek the next life at the expense of this one! To see one’s neighbor as a fellow immortal, not a competitor for limited resources!
Raise a pint of cheer to your lips, lads! They did everything they could to twist you into one of them… and here you are at the end of 2021, humanity and soul intact, with righteous convictions that you have suffered to maintain, while they can’t even look at Santa without monkey screeches of pain! This year has been a psychological war like humanity has never seen before, decades in planning, overseen by fallen princes of Hell itself, aided by the collapse or infiltration of every authority meant to protect the innocent, and YOU ARE STILL HERE!
The fallen will never understand what it feels like, to pass the test of virtue. How we saints can acknowledge that it was both cruel hardship and totally worth it.
The fact that we can’t say with any certainty what the Pentagon would do isn’t exactly comforting, and no matter how absurd the hypothetical, the military wrongly killing someone is more frequent an occurrence than its interest in the delivery of toys. So out of concern for Santa’s safety, out of exasperation at the Pentagon’s propaganda and because at Christmas you tell the truth, let’s have NORAD release Santa from its annual pantomimed surveillance.
He can’t enjoy Christmas. Santa is a mere excuse, a prop for the moment, a momentary convenience. “Humanity has reached the 11th hour! Desperate measures must be taken and sacrifices must be made! So *ahem, ahem* NORAD is tracking Santa in order to murder him!!! Not really, but if you believe that lie then my faction will get a +1.”
By having Heaven as our hope, we avoid these traps of material gain, zero-sum thinking and 11th Hour fanaticism. To say nothing of the ability to have fun.
2021 has been a long road… and we have become the winners, the saints and the best of our generation, no matter our station in life, because we have endured for that hope of Heaven. Just as Christ did before us.
“Because of the increase in wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” -Matthew 24:12-13