Embrace the Zuck: Dating In Singletown

It’s hard to see Farcebook rebranding itself as MetaZuck as anything other than a way to capitalize on imminent Forever Lockdowns being pioneered in (where else) Austria, Germany, Sudentenland and… didn’t we already fight that war twice? I love my ancestors but please, stop with the death camps already.

This coming article suggests that “Meta” was launched somewhat prematurely, since they’re only beginning to test whether virtual dating in their aptly named “Singletown” is going to catch on.

Prediction: it’ll be like OnlyFans.

*checks*

Nope. Tinder.

Tinder and Bumble Enter the Metaverse — How Crypto and NFTs Could Become Essential to Virtual Dating Apps

h ttps://www.gobankingrates.com/investing/crypto/tinder-bumble-enter-metaverse-how-virtual-dating-apps-utilize-crypto-nfts/

By Yaёl Bizouati-Kennedy, 19 November 2021

With a name like that, you just know that a Kennedy stuck his dick in crazy.

Dating apps Tinder and Bumble are entering into a relationship with the metaverse ecosystem, changing the way people will interact in drastic ways and re-inventing their platforms. From the use of avatars and digital coins to first dates in virtual piano bars, the apps are reshaping the dating landscape.

I can’t wait until Carbon-Neutral dogma gets unleased on the ‘ecosystem’ of Zuckerberg’s server farms.

For the two public companies, these plans will also provide a new revenue stream, and experts are saying that competitors should consider entering the metaverse fray, too, at the risk of being dumped.

Hold that thought…

Tinder said it rolled out Explore, “an interface which allows users to connect with others through new experiences beyond the Swipe that used to be Tinder,” Shar Dubey, CEO of Tinder’s parent company Match Group, said on an investor call earlier this month.

Match Group is a conglomerate of match.com, OKStupid, Tinder, Pregnant Or Fat and ten other dating sites catering to ethnics, freaks and/or France. They really don’t have any competition to speak of and any such competition is not likely to enjoy a warm welcome in the marriage bed between Dating Megacorp and Social Media Megacorp.

The company is also rolling out its own coins — Tinder Coins — which are currently being tested in several markets including a few markets in Europe.

Well, sure. Any company led by a Steinberg is going to be a grift first and a gutted acquisition second.

Coins can also be used to incentivize certain behaviors to help members make more meaningful connections on Tinder, such as verifying their profile or adding video to their bio. And, perhaps most importantly, Coins will be essential for the virtual goods and trading ecosystem planned for 2022 and beyond,” according to a letter to shareholders.

I see you, Social Credit.

Finally, the company is also beta testing a new concept on some college campuses in Seoul, called Singletown — a platform where your digital self in the form of real-time audio-powered avatar can serendipitously meet others in virtual spaces, like a bar. Or, you can sit down with someone in a park bench to have one-on-one or group conversation, Dubey said on the call.

Singletown. So appropriate. Can anything be faker and gayer then your fantasy self meeting her fantasy self in a fantasy world for love at first… fantasy? There is no content in that. Boy never meets girl and forget about boink, he’s not even getting facetime.

I notice they’re testing the concept in one of the most, um, not-fleshy, repressed dating markets in existence: South Korean college campuses. I’m just saying, the MetaZuck better have a Starcraft 2-themed dating lounge for those hopeless romantics.

“There is, for instance, a piano bar where people’s digital selves are gathering around, but they are actually playing their pianos at home and jamming with others,” Dubey said. “You can overhear our conversations, join conversations. You can tap into the digital avatars to see more of that profile and you have basically a richer set of signals to help connect with someone. It is metaverse experiences coming to life in a way that is transformative to how people meet and get to know each other on a dating or social discovery platform and is much more akin to how people interact in the real world.”

Or, you can spend $100 on craigslist to buy a keyboard, watch a few youTube videos and actually play your piano at your home and jamming with your actual guests.

As for Bumble, the move came shortly after Tinder’s, although the plans are more vague. Whitney Wolfe Herd, Bumble founder and CEO, said in an investor call on Nov. 10 that Web 3.0 is all about community and treats everyone in the community as participants who together make the community what it is.

Excepting from that community, in increasing order of sex appeal, vaxx denialists, Trump supporters and misogynists.

“Longer term, it becomes a way for our members to own their experience on Bumble. This could happen through the communities they build, the virtual goods and experiences they acquire or through new ways of owning their identity as they navigate the metaverse. The company will start exploring applications with its friendship app, Bumble BFF.

Dude, like I can’t even, whatever, man, this level of stupid makes me talk Valley Girl. Gak me with a grody spoon if it catches on!

President Tariq Shaukat said on the call that the company is “taking a Web 3.0 lens.”

“We’ve got a couple of tests that we’re very excited about that we will be rolling out in the upcoming months around this, but we think that’s the first toehold there,” Shaukat said. “This is something that is going to evolve. We want to make sure we’re setting the technical and engineering foundation for whatever emerges in the metaverse and in the Web 3.0 world.”

It’s always a bad sign when they offer you the solution first and the problem second. “Look, we have a shiny new artificial reality to replace our stolen cis-reality with! I wonder what we can do with it?” This is a longstanding trait of Marxism.

“Viva la Revolucion!”

“Actually, we like our lives the way they are.”

“Oh, well, let me fix that.” *Commies empty the prisons, murder the farmers and inflame racial strife*

“Save us! Viva la Revolucion!”

Alex DiNunzio, CEO and co-founder of Jambb, an NFT [Non-Fungible Token, a form of digital currency] marketplace for comedy and comedians, told GOBankingRates that there is no doubt that the metaverse offers ever-expanding possibilities. Dating apps, which are largely used by younger demographics, have a built-in, tech-savvy audience that is open to exploring new forms of interaction, he said.

“The capabilities of AR/VR in terms of connecting people in real-time, virtually face-to-face, suit the dating app space well, particularly following a global pandemic,” DiNunzio explained. He added that one interesting aspect will be to see how NFTs play out here.

“With the increasing ease of minting NFTs, they could be utilized to show expressions of interest and affection. Consider, for example, an NFT love letter or a ‘like’ token that users on platforms like Tinder could earn from doing everything from verifying their profiles and adding videos to being responsive and not ghosting dates,” he said. “The metaverse is complementary to NFTs, and I believe both these movements will grow and evolve together. Blockchain-based social dating offers key elements missing from current dating applications, like trust, transparency, data security and fraud protection against nefarious actors, or ‘catfishes.’”

“I love you” signed, Josef Stalin.

DiNunzio added that, ultimately, dating apps will need to adapt or they will quickly become irrelevant.

Adapt to what? The problem that comedians are having with meatspace is not how they’re paid, it’s getting death threats from Social Justice morons who left college with no degree in Sense Of Humor. It’s obvious that MetaZuck is supposed to be our New Normal after we’re incarcerated in as literal a Matrix as Globohomo can manage, but they’re implementing it in a way that guarantees it’ll be the NextDoor app in Hell-3D.

From h ttps://citizenfreepress.com/breaking/welcome-to-singletown/

The future may very well redefine the definition of a connection beyond in-person meetings, turning more focus on virtual experiences, like two avatars coming together before ever meeting in person. Decentralized dating apps are only one piece of the metaverse puzzle, which is continuing to grow and elevate how people interact in digital spaces and places,” he said.

Communists try this EVERY TIME! They always assume that human nature is “infinitely malleable”, to quote the Communist Manifesto, and then they twist human nature into some unnatural shape, and then society falls apart into gulags and mass alcoholism. EVERY SINGLE TIME. But the Communist keeps trying this because they hate God and by extension, they hate human nature which is hardwired to teach the truth about Christ & Humanity to even the dullest of wits.

Already, I see sharp rises in drug overdoses in our Brave New Normal of Chinky Pox. Not a coincidence.

What do these people think is the purpose of dating? It’s pressing flesh! Anything from cuddling over a movie all the way to married with kids, the goal of dating is unavoidably located in the Real World. But they’re trying to replace it with a dopamine hit of “my Pokemon avatar got lucky with a Japanese schoolgirl avatar in the Retro Lounge. And a Tinder Coin popped out!”

No thanks. I’ll stay in meatspace and watch this train wreck from a safe distance.

God Develops Ultra-Realistic Metaverse Where People Can Talk, Learn, And Work With Other People, Calling It ‘Universe’

h ttps://babylonbee.com/news/god-develops-ultra-realistic-metaverse-where-people-can-talk-learn-and-work-with-other-people-calling-it-universe

EARTH—In a bold announcement to all of His children, God unveiled the creation of an ultra-realistic metaverse where people can talk, learn, and work with other people, stating this unique new metaverse will be called “Universe.”

“This is more realistic than any virtual reality I’ve experienced before,” said reality enthusiast Miles Kann while walking through one of the Universe’s city parks in real-time. “I can literally smell the fresh air, touch the cool grass, and interact with other players in incredible ways.”

Another early adopter of God’s Universe demonstrated how detailed and immersive the player-to-player interaction was as she showed off her humble home, complete with husband, children, and dog. She thanked God for providing her with a sense of purpose and fulfillment unmatched by any competing product….

According to witnesses, Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg screamed in terror at the frightening, immutable reality of God’s Universe.

3 thoughts on “Embrace the Zuck: Dating In Singletown

  1. “a platform where your digital self in the form of real-time audio-powered avatar can serendipitously meet others in virtual spaces, like a bar. Or, you can sit down with someone in a park bench to have one-on-one or group conversation, Dubey said on the call.”

    No word on what the virtual churches will look like, but if they aren’t loaded with Freemason imagery I will be pleasantly surprised.

    ““There is, for instance, a piano bar where people’s digital selves are gathering around, but they are actually playing their pianos at home and jamming with others,” Dubey said.”

    Damn, I have a doctorate in physics. I had the “three sixes” (now just financially independent and don’t need a job). I’m good looking. But now I have to learn piano too??? Monastary is looking better and better, at this point.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘As for Bumble, the move came shortly after Tinder’s, although the plans are more vague. Whitney Wolfe Herd, Bumble founder and CEO’

    Whitney Wolfe Herd!? Am I herding that correctly?

    Everything wrong with the West in three words. Walking talking fustercluck with all the feminist merit badges h.t. Dalrock. And don’t she have a teeming herd of she-wolves in tow! bumbling their way to the furnace.

    Ms. Wolfe Herd lol is the Princess Can Do No Wrong of rich-man daddy bigbucks, have you herd this tune before? Astonishingly, Ms. Wolfe Herd lol went on to found a ‘dating’ company that preys on the zombies remaining after she, her daddy, and their replicants destroyed fatherhood, family and, oh yeah, actual dating in the Western world. Replacing it with . . . well themselves, of course. The FemBorg. Riding that hairy beest. And daddy’s in the synagogue of satan!

    Thanks for the easy ones Lord.

    Like

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