No sooner do I swear off ever voting again than a saucy special “Get Rid Of Governor Gruesome Newscum” election arrives to test my resolve! The media may be under orders to not announce the winner until the votes are counted but I am not.
First thing you need to know about the Newsom Recall Election is that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans have endorsed a candidate. Dems told their people to vote against recall but not to choose a replacement ‘just in case’. Reps told their people to vote for the recall but decided they didn’t care who’s next. This is astonishing because the winner of the popular vote was talk radio host Larry Elder of Los Angeles, a Talented Tenth negro of reliably trad-conservative loyalties. They could not have asked for a better candidate. And yet, they spurned him given the chance.
That is why you don’t hear about the California Republican Party anymore. They sold out everything and elected a woman to mind the shop in case they ever need to reopen. Which will be never, post-January Protest election re-form.
“With just 24 percent of voters in California now registering as Republicans, the party is No. 3 in the state, trailing Democrats and No Party Preference.” -Orange County Register
The second thing you need to know is the first question on the ballot. Quote: “Shall GAVIN NEWSOM be recalled (removed) from the office of Governor?” Notice that Newsom was not referred to as a Democrat. This was an actual lawsuit he filed against his own Secretary Shirley Webber. She dropped his political affiliation off the paperwork then won a court case to keep it off, that’s how much Newsom is hated even by his own party. Which is how I know he’ll be replaced.
Next agenda item is… the clown show of FORTY-SIX contestants! Let’s bypass the gubernatorial all-stars such as porn star Angelyne…
Actual campaign promise. Segue
What would you do if you won the election?
Remember, I got a lot of votes last time, but I was fortunate that I didn’t have to become governor and sit in an office. If I win I promise that I will not sit in an office, I’ll still drive my car as the governor’s office on wheels. People will be appointed to do things like put gas in my car. We’ll have a party and make a pretend governor and give everybody the option of being in power. It is for the people, isn’t it?
What are your hot button issues?
Hot button?! Ooh! (squeals)
I mean, what would you tackle first?
I’m getting fresh squeezed celery juice right now. Once I’m in office, I’d like everybody to write me with their ideas. If they have a good solution I would hire them to fix it. Isn’t that brilliant? There are so many people out there with inventions who don’t have the money to put them into force. I would allocate a budget for it of course.
And bypassing the porn star Mary Carey…
Mary Carey, a former adult actress whose real name is Mary Cook, said she has “big plans for California,” the LA Times reported.
“It is time for someone with a new attitude from outside of mainstream politics to lead,” the busty blonde said in a statement his week. “I can promise you — it won’t take long before all Californians will be satisfied with my job performance.”
The former VH1 reality TV star — who said she has retired from the porn business — has launched a campaign website that features merchandise and links to her personal site, where people can see her OnlyFans profile and pay to chat with her, the paper reported.
I actually approve of that as an alternative to high taxes. Apparently, the only men who still have money are the simps.
“Finally a politician you want to be screwed by!” she says with a wink on her site.
Carey, who starred in flicks such as “Dirty Angels: Welcome to Lust Angeles,” previously ran in the 2003 recall election to replace then-Gov. Gray Davis — but insisted that her inspiration at that time was “a publicity gag.”
She didn’t even make the ballot.
And bypassing the porn star Caitlyn Jenner…
I laugh because I can’t cry anymore.
Anyway, who should I vote for? If I was going to vote, I mean. Dang, old habits are hard to break. The unfortunately named Denver Stoner, deputy Sheriff? *checks* Tradcon. Fiscally conservative but wants to “fix” abortion via education.
Let’s be more random. Eenie… meenie… miney… whoa.
CHAUNCEY “SLIM” KILLENS, retired corrections officer.
I don’t know who he is but his name is badass and the Governor’s Office sure needs a jailer.
A black jailer turned chaplain and high-energy, anti-abortion activist… this could be a live one, folks…
Killens said he got the idea to run for governor while visiting the State Capitol, he says a group of soldiers told him to run for office. Killens says he has high morals and that career politicians are corrupt and they have abused, victimized and oppressed the people of California.
Yeah, well, I’ll be the Russian Judge of that. Let’s pull up his candidate website.
I support “All Lives Matter” – Black, White, Hispanic, Asian and Blue lives matter.
Of course he backs the blue, but he’s also willing to dis on Billionaires Living Majestically.
I support The Constitutional Rights of Religious Freedom for individuals and churches, using real medical science and common sense in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, to regularly assemble and worship God as they see fit.
Nice! Minimally acceptable thus far, but nice.
I support The Parents Right to remove their children from failing public (Socialist/Marxist Camp) schools and to enroll their children in a school of their choice. Teaching Reading, Arithmetic, Writing!
HE CALLED OUT THE TEACHERS’ UNION! But no points because he wants school vouchers instead. News flash, if the government still handles the money then nothing will change.
I support Traditional Family Values and will work with local leaders in the inner cities to help ALL youth take steps to successfully improve their lives through education and employment. I will work to close down Planned Parenthood which has murdered tens of millions of minority babies since 1973 Roe V Wade decision.
Good that he wants to, better that he’s not promising success, but I score this a fail because he didn’t blame the women. There is exactly one way to end abortion: punish the woulda-been mothers as the murderers they are. It’s that simple. Don’t go after the docs. Don’t waste time on Planned Organ Harvesting. Every abortion that ends a human life, had the mother’s written authorization and payment before the fact.
I support The End of Sanctuary Cities. Nobody is above the law. I will work to overturn any legislation that supports the Early Release of inmates with serious criminal records.
He devolves into standard Trump doctrine, mentioning Trump by name just like all the other candidates with an R. Meanwhile, no explanation of how he might punish corrupt officials or even dropping any names. I’m depressed again. Let’s meet the new governor…
…same as the old governor…
Kevin Paffrath, better known by his YouTube handle, Meet Kevin, sort of fell into the career he has today. A native Floridian, Paffrath didn’t grow up wealthy. According to CNBC, Paffrath was actually born in Germany and lived there until he was 18 months old. His parents divorced when he was 6 years old and his father struggled to make ends meet. Paffrath recalled a time when his father told him he only had “11 [$20 bills] left,” a situation that definitely seemed to shape Paffrath’s life.
He tried to run as “Meet Kevin” but the judge ruled it was a marketing brand, not a name.
Originally, Paffrath stated he wanted to work in law enforcement, and in high school, he “participated in a law enforcement explorer program,” according to CNBC. During that time, he “spent over 3,000 hours riding along with local police” and learned what it took to become a police officer. Paffrath stated he assumed he would become a cop, but one officer he rode along with told him about his side gig as a realtor, which caught Paffrath’s interest. His future mother-in-law worked in real estate, and Paffrath got his real estate license when he was just 18 years old. Knowing that no one would take an 18-year-old seriously when buying or selling their home, Paffrath and his future wife bought a condemned home and fixed it up, flipping it for a profit. That then became their business model, buying and renovating houses, then renting them out. They currently own 22 properties in southern California, per CNBC.
That’s bullshit from “didn’t grow up wealthy but his parents had money to move halfway across the planet while he was in diapers” to “bought property in California at age 18”.
While Kevin Paffrath got his start in real estate and has become a teacher to other potential realtors, the majority of his money comes from his popular YouTube channel, Meet Kevin. As reported by CNBC, he and his wife earned $1.075 million in May 2020, although the publication pointed out they don’t always make seven figures each month. They only made around $720,000 in September 2020. Still, it’s safe to say that Paffrath’s YouTube channel and its affiliate links bring in a significant amount of cash for him.
Nobody makes that kind of money off youTube… not honestly… as a solo investment advisor with no connections or experience or even reaching age 30.
He started the channel in 2018 but, according to him, he would not have been nearly as successful if he had not met fellow personal investment and real estate YouTuber, Graham Stephan. Stephan has his own YouTube channel focused on similar content to Paffrath’s, but he reportedly convinced Paffrath to double-down on his channel, to great success. In his video announcing his run for governor, Paffrath said he met Stephan for lunch in Beverly Hills. During that meeting, Paffrath mentioned he was making content once a week, at which point Stephan told him to up that to multiple videos a day and to put most of his effort into content creation. At over 1.6 million followers, it’s safe to say that Stephan’s advice to Paffrath paid off.
The advice came just in time for the Plandemic which hobbled real estate rentals and spiked online entertainment consumption.
Stephan got his real estate license at age 18 in 2009 and became a real estate multimillionaire DURING THE HOUSING BUBBLE CRASH. That’s also bullshit. And Kevin, his friend… got his real estate license at age 18 in 2010 and became a real estate multimillionaire during the same crisis. That’s not just bullshit, that’s lightning striking twice in the same place.
Paffrath was born in Germany. His parents immigrated to the United States when he was 18 months old, and his parents divorced when he was six years old. As a teenager, Paffrath initially wanted to work in law enforcement, and participated in a law enforcement explorer program, in which he rode along with police officers and learned about the career.
For 3,000 hours? While in high school? That’s two years of a 30hr per week commitment.
While on a high school trip to Paris, Paffrath met his future wife, Lauren. In the summer before his senior year of high school, Paffrath moved to California to live with Lauren and her family while finishing high school at Buena High School. Lauren’s parents worked in real estate, and Paffrath became interested in the field.
“I didn’t come from wealth, son. But I met your mother during a high school field trip to Paris and moved in with her before I turned 18.”
Does Lauren’s maiden name end in -stein or -berg? Unable to confirm but it would explain much about their swift success.
Steven T. Wright publishing in the real estate website Curbed about “landlord influencers” included a profile of Paffrath. In the article, he described some of Paffrath’s “arguably incendiary opinions on landlord-tenant relations”, including Paffrath’s requirement that his tenants have a credit score of 700 or higher, and his advice that property owners should mislead tenants by concealing the fact that they own the property, or are the sole owner.
While I don’t object to cherrypicking renters, it’s frequently illegal in California to do so. No flash mobs vandalizing his properties? Hmm.
In November 2020, Paffrath’s channel and real estate career were featured on CNBC’s Millennial Money, which publishes profiles of millennials and how they earn and spend their money. CNBC found that Paffrath earns most of his income from YouTube advertising revenue and affiliate programs, not real estate or stock market investing.
His wife wears the pants in the family, running their real estate investments while Kevin plays at youTube marketing. Excuse me, ‘influencing’.
Paffrath was among a group of finance YouTubers profiled by Adlan Jackson in a March 2021 New York Times Magazine article, which discussed their shift during the COVID-19 pandemic from offering advice on becoming multimillionaires towards creating videos to provide “any little update” on stimulus payments. In the article, Jackson said that Paffrath was “exceptionally talented at talking to a camera, a natural salesman”, but later wrote that he was “a multimillionaire landlord who once extolled the virtues of misleading tenants and vigorously refusing to rent to people with suboptimal credit scores”.
Favorable coverage by network media, to say nothing of thriving on ban-happy youTube, is strong proof that he’s approved by the Establishment. His “wealth from nowhere” proves he’s connected because that doesn’t happen innocently in a kleptocracy.
Ramsey Solutions, a media company owned by finance personality Dave Ramsey, sued Paffrath in 2018 for alleged breach of contract, stealing trade secrets, and disparaging the company. Paffrath allegedly made videos mocking Dave Ramsey and criticizing his business practices, including one video entitled “Dave Ramsey: Exposed” where Paffrath asserted Ramsey’s business provided “cold-as-ice leads” and collected a fee for “doing nothing”. Paffrath stated that he had ended his relationship with Ramsey Solutions before making the videos, and therefore did not violate a contract. Paffrath also claimed the lawsuit was an attempt at censorship which violated his right to free speech. The case moved to federal court in 2019, and was settled privately out of court later that year.
Shoving old colleagues under the bus, always a sign of leadership material! I know *of* Dave Ramsey; a couple churches I once attended hosted his “get out of debt” assistance programs. Never did them myself but the people who did spoke favorably.
Paffrath is an empty shell. His parents-in-law, highly connected friends and easy money/publicity from nowhere made him everything that he is today. You can practically see the puppet strings on his wrists and Ticket stub in his pocket.
And if you still aren’t certain he’s the winner, he’s leading in the polls by a small but comfortable margin. Can’t let a faked election have a surprise result, now can we? Powerful people might ask questions if Slim Killens won.
On May 17, 2021, Paffrath announced his candidacy as a Democrat in the 2021 California gubernatorial recall election, which is scheduled for September 14, 2021. If elected, he would be the youngest California governor. At the time of his announcement, he was one of six Democrats who had joined the race… Paffrath’s platform includes deploying the National Guard to move homeless people.
I propose building 80 emergency housing facilities, each capable of housing 2,000 individuals, across the state of California utilizing the National Guard’s resources. Think Javits Center-style emergency facilities, with centralized services providing people with three meals a days, showers, hygiene supplies and coordinated/central services for mental health care, detox facilities, educational facilities and medical support.
After 60 days, no one is allowed to sleep on our streets (already law). However, emergency facilities will be optional (no one is forced to stay at an emergency facility; however no one may sleep on our streets). In practicality, if someone falls asleep on our street, we may bring them to an emergency facility, provide them care, and they can leave anytime they’d like — they can even take food and fresh clothing with them.
Use the National Guard to build camps for political undesirables. To educate them in. With all the money that doesn’t exist. Yeah, he’s governor material for the 21st Century.
Ah, politics. You’ve taught me so much over the years.
You taught me to look closer at what I’m shown. This mail-in ballot doesn’t even have a serial number like it used to. No security features at all.
*rip rip rip*
You taught me that we ain’t voting our way out of this mess. Democracy is a sham, my rulers are not my people and evil must be punished, not merely replaced.
You taught me that what matters is the quality of a man’s soul, not the quantity of his bank account. Kevin was fed his every success in life and that makes him controllable.
I pass the test and will never participate in a fraudulent election.