Let me set the mood with an Alice Cooper music video:
Ah, you kids today deserve a childhood like that. SO YOU TOOK THE INITIATIVE! I love you guys!
Children use lemon juice to get positive Covid test and get school bubble sent home
By James Hockaday, 1 July 2021
Teenagers have been using lemon juice to fake positive Covid-19 tests in an attempt to force their ‘bubbles’ to miss school.
Pupils are sharing their tips with the world by posting tutorials on TikTok, which have already fetched millions of views. Other substances poured by users on lateral flow tests include Coca Cola, hand sanitiser, kiwi fruit and apple sauce. Independent fact checkers, Full Fact, have previously told how fizzy drinks and acidic fruits can trigger what looks like a positive result.
They added that rapid tests rarely produce false positives when actually used on humans the proper way.
Boldfaced is a new guideline. Mission accomplished!
General Secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, Geoff Barton, told the i: ‘We are sure this involves a very small minority of pupils, and that for the most part the tests are used correctly.’
‘However, we would urge parents to ensure that tests are not being misused, and we would suggest to pupils who are interested in chemical reactions that the best place to learn about them is in chemistry lessons in school.’
That’s what they’re doing. Look at all the knowledge they’re sharing now that the taxpayer bought them all computers!
However, many users have pointed out that PCR tests are [now] required after pupils test positive on a lateral flow test.
Fixed it for them. I hope the school’s budget has breathing room!
The Government is currently looking at ways to end self-isolation for entire school bubbles.
Education minister Nick Gibb said trials are being conducted into daily contact testing as a possible alternative, with the Department for Education confirming that current isolation rules are likely to end in the autumn.
No, there’ll be a deadly new and unexpected Chinkypox variant appearing in the autumn because of an ancient mystery once known as “flu season”. Kids will get locked down again, along with the rest of England and possibly the rest of the planet.
Fortunately, the kids aren’t gonna take it anymore. Sing it with me!
Well, we got no choice.
All the girls and boys.
Makin’ all that noise
‘Cause they found new toys
School’s out for summer!
School’s out forever!
School’s been blown to pieces!
No more pencils, no more books,
No more teachers’ dirty looks!
Well, we got no class!
And we got no principles!
And we got no innocence!
We can’t even think of a word that rhymes!