I had wondered when these people would start making the news… the people who cracked under the fear-mongering and paranoia of Coof-ination, and now need help to recover their normal lives. From dictionary.com:
dysphoria-noun. A state of dissatisfaction, anxiety, restlessness, or fidgeting.
Thus, Lockdown Dysphoria is a mental disease (as in dis-ease) in which people have unreasonable anxiety about ending lockdown procedures such as masking, isolating or God help us, watching network news for medical advice.
My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off—Even for Sex
We’re both vaccinated now. When will this stop?
BY Torie Bosch, 27 May 2021
Congrats on being married to Patient Zero for lockdown dysphoria! Best if you don’t share that designation with him.
I have been married to a great guy for five and a half years. He is handsome, sexy, funny, and kind. It’s true that he has always been a little “prissy” about illnesses, but I never thought it was a real problem. However, during the pandemic, his terror about getting sick has reached new levels. For the last year, he has refused to take off his face mask, even when we are at home—just the two of us. This is true even now that he is fully vaccinated for the virus. He wears it to sleep, to do most of his bathroom activities, and, yes, even during lovemaking. To eat, he pulls it up to expose his mouth, and then quickly pulls it back down between bites.
Listening to Gruesome Newson was his first mistake.
While he does not insist that I do the same, I can tell it bothers him that I don’t—especially because I have now started going maskless outside, per the CDC guidelines, and plan on restaurant dining inside soon for a girls’ night out.
When I have tried to present him with the science, he says, “Scientists don’t fully understand the virus yet,” or, “I know it probably isn’t necessary, but wearing it doesn’t bother me, so if there’s even a small chance that it can protect us, I’d rather be on the safe side. What’s the harm?”
What’s the harm? Ask a druggie who says he can quit anytime he wants. If it’s true then no problem, aside from drug-sniffing dogs and judges getting up in his crotch, but if that’s not true then the first stage of grief is denial.
I disagree that there’s no harm. I want to see my beautiful husband’s face again. I want to kiss him on the lips romantically, like we used to, and not through a piece of fabric. (He does not change his mask very often and it is often smelly and soiled.)
That is a telling indicator that he’s not just being a germaphobe. He’s using the mask as a security blanket to the detriment of his health. Credit to his wife for being concerned!
And I don’t want to feel judged by him for my own behavior, which I consider reasonable.
Aaand I walk that credit back. Wives have the duty to obey their husbands, especially when he’s being unreasonable, which is why the smart girls lock down a stoic, low-drama man as quickly as they can.
This is making me depressed and concerned about our future together. I have asked him when he plans to stop masking, and all he says is “When it is safe for everyone.”
Who taught him that lie, I wonder? Wifey should totally sue the CDC for the cost of his psychiatric wellness therapy sessions.
What if this becomes a permanent part of him?
Possibly. He may need professional help, or better, a wife with the patience and determination to bring him out of his shell. Going out with the girls while he stares in quiet judgment is not going to do that.
My mother, who is very conservative, thinks that I should move out.
*GQ spits up his coffee.*
But I don’t think I’m ready for that step yet. What I want is my husband back. How can I get through to him?
—Maskless and Alone
Good girl. Start with the basics: make it a priority to ensure he always has a fresh mask available. As stupid as masking is, there’s no excuse for a wife to let her husband go around in smelly and filthy clothing.
Next, distract him from the fear-porn. Not just sex. Try to interest him in the hobbies and friends that he used to enjoy. His mind will improve once the fear viruses aren’t getting hourly dopamine updates. Don’t directly confront the mask issue. Let the inconvenience of masking come up naturally, such that he’ll start wanting to take it off without prompting.
Physical affection will help, too. Again, not just sex, but hugs and similar, brief contacts. If he’s wearing a mask to control his anxieties then there’s a lack of affirming behaviors in his life.
Dear Maskless and Alone,
I suspect your mother and I would agree on almost nothing COVID-related except the fact that your husband’s behavior is alarming.
Inevitable, not alarming. Of course some people’s minds broke under the very deliberate, intense campaign of terrorism by the Deep State. But for the Grace of God, I would already have snapped a Mask Nazi like a burnt churro.
“What’s the harm?” is such an insidious phrase. It’s not a question; it’s a statement of “leave me alone.” But there is lots of harm in leaving him alone—harm to his mental health, to yours, and to your relationship.
Agreed. This needs to stop… but wifey needs to be wise about how to do it, not forceful. Coercion does not cure anxieties.
You need to sit down with him at a time free of heightened emotions—so not right after sex (I am impressed—is that the word?—that you are still sleeping with him!).
Wifey Duty Number One.
Tell him all about the harm here: His behavior is alienating you and is certainly not offering him any real protection against disease. Give him three options.
Nope. Wives don’t get to do ultimatums.
First, he can make an appointment with his physician to talk about effective protective measures.
The quack would fill his head with fresh nightmares. Stupid. The very last thing a terrorized man needs is another session with his terrorists.
A few more years of this and doctors will be giving us sickcare instead of healthcare. Bigger profit margins!
Hopefully, his doctor will say he has to do option No. 2: start seeing a therapist. If he chooses this, he has to commit to at least six sessions (or some other number that feels right to you)
What a worthless advice columnist this is. “What should I do?” “Go to an expert who will recommend you to an expert, who will double-team him with his wife for an accomplice.” A lifetime of that attitude is how men end up broken in the first place.
Finally, he can decide—because it would be his decision if he doesn’t take another action—to call an end to the relationship.
“Divorce any man who inconveniences Wifey.”
I know you want your husband back, but he isn’t that husband right now, and he needs to understand just how serious this is. To be clear, you have to mean it when you say that the relationship has to end if he doesn’t make progress, but I think that would be the right move.
To be clear, the marriage is already over when wifey says that. Either he calls her bluff or he submits to his servant. Neither is a winning scenario for the couple.