Nothing makes you care about the health of The Leader Of the Free World, Incorporated, like betting he won’t have the chance for a second term. Every headline about Potato Joe’s remarkably robust and vigorous health regimen is in line with my January 6, 2023 guess. Meanwhile, you too can enjoy reading, and shredding, between the lines:
A day in the life of Joe Biden: Orange Gatorade and chocolate cookies fuelling world’s most powerful man
By Josie Ensor (the Telegraph), 24 May 2021
Good, good. Soon it’ll be apple juice and Jell-O.
President Joe Biden has a strict morning regimen of weight-lifting…
…but also struggles with a sweet tooth, according to a report which gives insight into his little-known daily routine.
The Washington Post spoke to more than a dozen people close to Mr Biden, who gave a rare glimpse into a day in the life of the world’s most powerful man.
Biden DOES know he’s President, right? And that he doesn’t have to listen to Jill anymore?
According to interviews, Mr Biden, who at 79 is the US’s oldest-ever president, begins the day by lifting weights and working with his personal trainer in an effort to keep mentally and physically fit.
Again, no. Not unless walking in a circle waving two-pound dumbbells counts as “lifting weights”. You could snap Joe’s leg like a twig… his dog already did.
A “Major” injury to President-elect Joe Biden appeared to be minor.
Biden “sustained a sprain in his right foot” Saturday when the 78-year-old Democrat turned an ankle while playing with his dog Major, his office said Sunday. Biden will see a doctor “out of an abundance of caution” but X-rays show no obvious fracture, according to his personal physician.
A subsequent CT scan “confirmed hairline (small) fractures of President-elect Biden’s lateral and intermediate cuneiform bones, which are in the mid-foot,” according to a statement from his doctor, Kevin O’Connor. “It is anticipated that he will likely require a walking boot for several weeks.”
He eats healthily – opting for a soup and a salad for lunch – but he also has a sweet tooth, regularly enjoying treats such as orange Gatorade and chocolate chip cookies.
He has stocked the outer Oval Office with individually wrapped chocolate chip cookies and salt water taffy (boiled sweets) from Dolle’s in Delaware, where he travels on weekends.
That would be the maid, not Joe. The World’s Most Powerful Man, not to be confused with the World’s Most Powerful Sexy Man that he stole the election from, does not have free time to shop for treats on the weekend.
Wait, this is Resident Joe the Pretender. Maybe he DOES have that free time. All he’s needed for is signing stuff, after all.
He has said in previous interviews that he could not live without his favourite food, ice cream.
“He has the tastes of a five-year-old,” a longtime Mr Biden adviser told the Post.
He arrives promptly at the Oval Office in the White House each morning at 9am, but likes to sneak out to the South Lawn or Rose Garden for fresh air to walk his German shepherds, Champ and Major.
They say that dogs are good judges of character. They say that Major kept biting White House staffers until he was no longer welcome.
Vice President Joe Biden made headlines today when he appeared alongside President Barack Obama in the East Room at the White House for an event celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act.
The 72-year-old politician was seen [with] a small bruise on the side of his lower lip; the injury did not appear to be serious.
So, what happened?!
He tried to celebrate the ADA by going out on a disability claim while VP? This is more than a little ironic, him showing up injured to the ADA anniversary.
The vice president’s office told reporters that Biden got the bruise by playing with his dog, a German Shepherd named Champ.
How did Biden’s mouth get injured by a dog? Did he sniff something he shouldn’t have?
Fact: Joe Biden is the executive officer of the American Empire.
Fact: It would suck cow farts to be Joe Biden.
Unlike his predecessor and Fox News enthusiast, Donald Trump, Mr Biden is not a huge consumer of TV, but he does watch CNN’s “New Day” or MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” when working out.
We interrupt this assurance that Biden is on top of his game and in fine, jovial health despite being the oldest Oval Office occupant ev3r, and that stairs incident that is totally behind him, to remind you that good people listen to CNN. Only BAD people like DRUMPF listen to Fox News.
Despite morning workout sessions, aides described the president as a “night owl.” He usually returns to the White House residence around 6-7pm for dinner with wife Jill, before carrying out late-night calls with advisers.
Nothing about his behavior suggests that level of energy. Trump reportedly had a reduced need for sleep, however, so Biden needs to keep up with the Joneses even after stealing their election.
The couple has a close relationship, speaking on the phone several times a day. He is known to interrupt whatever he is doing to take calls from family members.
Move over, Jezebel. Doctor Jill is in da house!
According to Jill Biden’s first husband, Bill Stevenson, the story she and her present husband, prospective Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, tell of how they met after she divorced Stevenson is not true. Stevenson claims Joe Biden was having an affair with his wife while she was still married to Stevenson.
In 2008, The New York Times reported on how Joe Biden explained meeting his present wife Jill:
Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr. has said he first saw pictures of Jill Jacobs in March 1975 in an advertisement for a local park in Wilmington, Del. The young blonde caught his eye. She was beautiful — you might call her drop-dead gorgeous.
No. Good hair but flat chest. Not bad, just nothing special.
That night, his brother, Frank, told him he had the number of a young woman that the senator would like, mainly because she did not like politics. Mr. Biden called her the next day and asked her out, for that very night. She was busy. Mr. Biden persisted. He was in town for only one night. Couldn’t she change her plans?
She did, finally. And when Mr. Biden arrived to pick her up, she turned out to be the woman in the advertisement.
It was going to only be a one-night stand but turned out to be Twu Wuv! And bullshit. I don’t even care what the competing story is, the truth ain’t this.
“The Bidens, who have been married since 1977, have publicly said they met on a blind date in 1975 — after Joe became a widower and Jill’s first marriage had broken up,” the New York Post reported.
Speaking to the Daily Mail in an exclusive interview from his home in Wilmington, Delaware, Stevenson stated, “I don’t want to hurt anyone. But…
“I don’t think of my ex as an ‘anyone’.”
…facts are facts and what happened, happened.”
Stevenson asserted that he first met Jill in August 1969, saying, “I was leaving for Woodstock the following day. I was at a car wash and she and her friend came over to admire my 1968 Z28 Chevy Camaro. It was yellow with black stripes, all the rage at the time. I was going to my friend’s birthday party that night, so I invited them along. There were four good looking girls in that apartment and I thought the more the merrier. The rest is history.”
Stevenson, who is the founder of The Stone Balloon, a famed live music club that Rolling Stone once called “the best kept secret in rock and roll,” continued that he married Jill Jacobs in 1970, adding, “It was February, I believe it was the 7th.”
Two years later, as Biden ran for the Senate, the Stevensons worked on his campaign, Stevenson claimed. Biden was still married to his first wife Neilia, who was tragically killed along with their one-year-old daughter Naomi in a car crash before Biden was sworn into the Senate.
Ooh. Bad, bad idea, putting your wife to work for a more powerful man. That reflects poorly on Stevenson… which in turn, gives this the ring of truth. He’s not being complimentary towards his own conduct.
The Daily Mail continued, “Stevenson said he first suspected Biden and Jill were having an affair in August 1974. He was then 26, Jill was 23 and Joe was 31.”
Stevenson said, “I know exactly when it was. Bruce Springsteen was going to play at The Stone Balloon and I had to go to Northern New Jersey to pay him in advance. I asked Jill to go with me and she said no — she had things to do, she had to look after Joe’s kids, Beau and Hunter.
OUCH! Managing Bruce Springsteen wasn’t enough to keep wifey interested in him.
Stevenson said that in October 1974, “I was at work and a guy came in and asked: ‘Do you own a brown Corvette?’ I said yes, it’s my wife’s car. He said back in May it had crunched his bumper and they told him to get an estimate and he never heard back from them. I said: ‘Wait a minute. Who is they?’ And he said: ‘Funnily enough, Senator Biden was driving.’”
Stevenson concluded, “I asked Jill to leave the house, which she did. Her father was begging me to take her back when he found out what was going on. He asked me to give her a second chance, but I wasn’t interested. I considered Joe a friend. I’m not surprised he fell in love with Jill. Everyone who meets Jill falls in love with her immediately. It’s hard not to.”
Stevenson said he has an autobiography in the works. He said, “It’s ready to go. They can print 30,000 copies in 10 days. I genuinely don’t want to harm Jill’s chances of becoming First Lady. She would make an excellent First Lady — but this is my story. It’s not a bitter book — I’m not bitter because, if it wasn’t for my divorce, I would never have met my wife Linda and she’s the greatest thing in my life —
That kind of groveling attitude would be WHY managing the Bruce wasn’t sexy enough.
…but it does have facts in it that aren’t pleasant to Jill and Joe. People ask me how I can go back 40 years, but I am not, I’m going back 72 years to tell my life story.”
Stop with the Gamma humblebragging, Stevie. Either burn your ex and cash that paycheck already, or don’t.
I think it fitting that the wife of a man who became great by betraying his country to anybody that he could, is herself a traitor to the husband of her youth.
“[Resident Biden] will never say, ‘I’m in the middle of something important right now — can I call you back?’” said Democratic Senator Chris Coons, a longtime Biden confidant, said. “He will never let it go to voicemail.”
No. Feck, that’s not even trying to lie to me. That’s just a straight-up diss. There is no way in any reality that any POTUS would ever NOT use voicemail.
Every night before bed, the president is reported to phone his son Hunter, who has battled for years with drug and alcohol addiction. If he does not answer the call, sources told The Post that Mr Biden will text him.
That lie was supposed to show that Biden is a family man. But hey, Sleepy Joe, there are companies that’ll check whether your loved ones are taking their drugs so you don’t have to.
Throughout the election campaign he has engaged in numerous malapropisms, slurred words, mispronouncing words and misidentifying people, such as calling his wife Jill his sister.
Ahh, now that we reach the end, a little truth can dribble out so this puff piece won’t look like the blatant hatchet job that it is.
Mr Biden was branded “Sleepy Joe” during the election campaign by Donald Trump, 74, who suggested that his opponent’s cognitive abilities should be tested.
They were not tested.
Some Republicans have criticised Mr Biden for his relatively light daily schedule, which is notably lighter than his predecessors.
The 79-year-old often with just one or two brief public appearances a day, only sporadic travel and weekends at his family home in Wilmington. A “lid,” meaning no further public activities, is often called early in the day.
Which is it? Is Biden a night owl that meets with advisers even after dinner, or do his handlers often put a ‘lid’ early on his day?
In the early days, however, his travel was hindered by the Covid-19 pandemic raging across America.
Thus, his about-to-become the first octogenarian in the power seat must obviously have nothing at all to do with his lack of public appearances. You didn’t ask but hey, just so you know, Biden is doing GREAT! As much as Trump ever did, plus he can do it on a light schedule and he’s buff from working out and he still has time to be a family man!
Tick tock, Resident Biden. The devil gave you the world as promised… plus the dementia and frailty and FAMILY to prevent you from enjoying it.