It’s Now Mandatory To Put A Bag Over Her Head

(SFW) Modern hooking-up is easier than ever now that kissing is outlawed in order to better accommodate face masks. It’s the law: don’t waste time on acting romantic!

College says to ‘avoid kissing’ during sex to help stop COVID-19

h ttps://www.campusreform.org/article?id=16450

By Mckenna Dallmeyer, 17 December 2020

The St. Olaf College Wellness Center posted a flyer on campus urging students to “avoid kissing” during sex in order to reduce the transmission of COVID-19.

Image result for kissing book meme princess bride

Campus Reform obtained a photo of the flyer, which was posted on the Minnesota campus.

Shouldn’t the “S” in FRIES be “sober”? But then it wouldn’t be “Enthusiastic”. And whoever thinks sex is reversible, is not informed.

Anyway, it seems that I’ve been doing sex wrong… but is it the “partnered sex” step or the “good mental sex hygiene” step? Not sure how to have both at the same time with modern chicks.

Ways To Lower Risk Of Transmission During Partnered Sex:

Meaning COOF-19, not herpes, hepatitis, syphilis, gonorrhea, crabs, warts, GRIDS, baby traps or I just remembered why I don’t want sex anymore.

1. Avoid kissing.

2. Reduce your number of sex partners.

N count doesn’t work like that. Wait, does murder lower N count? Aww.

3. Use barrier protection [such as dental dams].

Wouldn’t that be redundant with face masks? Speak of the clothed devil…

4. Wear a mask during sexual activity.

It was going to be a bag over her head, but okay. Wait, that’s GENIUS! I take a cloth shopping bag… cut eye holes in it… it counts as a face covering until after I’ve made my purchase!

5. Steer clear of [visibly sick partners].

How stupid do they think we *hic* college freshmen, right.

6. Fill out the necessary paperwork.

That last is my summation of the rest. But let me quote my favorite line:

Are you and your partner consistently complying with all preventative safety guidelines, including social distancing?

They actually said it.

The song was wrong. It’s guys who just wanna have fun. Girls… want us to NOT have fun.

10 thoughts on “It’s Now Mandatory To Put A Bag Over Her Head

  1. Check in with yourself mentally to make sure that everything still feels comfortable and okay.

    They are training the (female) students to claim regret-rape. Why do any men go to this place?

    4. Wear a mask during sexual activity

    Yeah, like that is going to happen. Did they write this just for legal cover, in case any students sue them? Or do they think people will actually do this?

    Are you and your partner consistently complying with [bullshit rules] including social distancing?

    I see GQ already beat me to it, but I’ll comment anyway…
    How exactly do you maintain a distance of two meters, while having sex? Maybe them kids have some new-fangled ideas that I did not learn….
    Or maybe these young men are very well-hung…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just goes to show that normies can’t go without sex for a short time yet still have no problem chastising those who complain about a lifetime of no sex.

    They’ll come up with as many absurd rules as possible to justify their extramarital sexual activity during covid time.

    I don’t condemn any married couples having sex during this time, I just find the hypocrisy of the others amusing.

    Like

  3. Pingback: 24 December 2020: The turning. – Dark Brightness

  4. Covid vaccine was available from the start — but FDA wouldn’t let you take it:

    Seems the FDA delayed the vaccine, to allow for the shutdowns and riots, for the reset and election steal.

    Why would we assume that is was safe to get even if it was available from the start?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Merry Christmas,
    Just as my wife is an awful wife and would be a worse tyrant than Newsom is to California, so God’s power is over both of them. A troubling day by their temporary exercise of power, but their day will end.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. U.S. Marine officers dumber than ever: https://ndupress.ndu.edu/JFQ/Joint-Force-Quarterly-81/Article/702026/officers-are-less-intelligent-what-does-it-mean/

    According to data obtained from a Freedom of Information Act request, the intelligence of new Marine Corps officers has declined steadily since 1980. Two-thirds of the new officers commissioned in 2014 would be in the bottom one-third of the class of 1980; 41 percent of new officers in 2014 would not have qualified to be officers by the standards held at the time of World War II. Similarly, at the top of the distribution, there are fewer of the very intelligent officers who will eventually become senior leaders.

    On the “plus” side, today’s U.S. military has more Diversity and Pride than any previous generation!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. SMH ..

    Standards have been sliding for many years (re: US Military). And it’s all about costs and die-verse-itty.

    We used to give a NFAQT (Nuclear Field Aptitude and Qualification Test) post ASVAB.

    You didn’t even get to take the test until you had scored well enough on the ASVAB.

    It was the best idicator of whether you would pass or fail the US Navy Nuke Program.

    When they stopped failing 90% of the students (due to the high cost of maintaining high standards) they stopped giving that test (re: NFAQT). Now they could have small classes of spoon feed low cost per unit navy nukes. Then we started getting cheating scandals. This timeframe also included the admission of wimmimz into the program.

    It could’ve been (i.e. the lowering of the standards) that 99.9% of all grads were white males too.

    Like

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