Having Failed to Flatten the Curve, CDC Now Fails to Flatten Workplace Violence

This should amuse, that the Center for Disease Control has released new guidelines on how to handle the workplace violence that comes from people who are damn sick and tired of wearing face diapers in the summer heat.

Guidelines on workplace violence have already been issued by OSHA, FAA, FBI and even the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, itself a subsidiary of the CDC… and that’s just what the coming guideline bothered to link to.

OSHA: Wear correct PPE, personal protective equipment, during all hostile human resource encounters. Serious injury may result from inadequate PPE.

FAA: Kill the hijacker before it’s too late! Get that plane on the ground NOW!

FBI: Don’t bother us unless there’s a synagogue involved.

NIOSH: [direct quote] “The most serious workplace violence issues facing taxi drivers are homicide and physical assaults, which are often related to a robbery.” I did NOT learn something new today.

I’m so glad we have multiple layers of government to guide us! Without their leadership, my reaction to workplace violence would be to win it. “That was fun, Bob, but now you’re fired AND need a dentist. Remember to pay him cash beginning *dial insurance carrier* right now. Where’s my ice pack?”

But no, the CDC decided that what we proles need to hear next from them is how to handle physical resistance over their COVID-19 lies and dictats. Their hands are somewhat tied owing to the fact that encouraging independence and self-reliance would hinder the original, illegal policies they’re trying to enforce.

Limiting Workplace Violence Associated with COVID-19 Prevention Policies in Retail and Services Businesses


24 August 2020

Who this is for: This information is intended for use by employers and employees in retail, services, and other customer-based businesses. Retail or service businesses sell goods and provide services to the public and include department stores, grocery stores, gas stations, and restaurants. These businesses are open [despite our recommendations] and have started [WHO-directed, Federally-directed,] state-directed, municipality-directed, and company-directed Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) prevention policies and practices to minimize the spread of the virus among employees and customers.

Please… have mercy… I just want to buy a couple polo shirts….

Purpose: This webpage offers strategies to limit violence towards workers that may occur when businesses put in place policies and practices to help minimize the spread of COVID-19 among employees and customers. These policies may include requiring masks to be worn by employees and customers, asking customers to follow social distancing rules, and setting limits on the number of customers allowed in a business facility at one time.

“Only ten customers or two hundred looters at a time… where is all this violence coming from?!”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) may update this page periodically. Please check the CDC COVID-19 website regularly for updated guidance.

One of the best reasons to not worship the Narrative is the fact that it changes so fast, you need hourly updates on… for example… how disease spreads. You might think that microbe behavior wouldn’t vary with election results but you would be surprised! I’ve been wearing my face shield to the gym with no trouble until the last time I went, when the staff informed me that face shields no longer protect against C-virus like they used to. Must have been one of those ‘evolutions’ I keep hearing about… the C-virus evolved into a drone, or something.

I’m done with my gym. Not that they care about losing a customer, I just can’t take the abuse any longer. My muscles may weaken but never my self-respect!


Workplace violence is “violent acts, including physical assaults and threats of assault, directed toward persons at work or on duty.”


Workplace violence is “violent acts, including physical assaults and threats of assault, directed toward persons of color at work or on duty.”

Who will take my bet? …Aw nuts, my readers have all read “Animal Farm”.

Employers can take action to prevent workplace violence:

  • Offer customers options to minimize their contact with others and promote social distancing. These options can include curbside pick-up; personal shoppers; home delivery for groceries, food, and other services; and alternative shopping hours.

“Get rid of all customers as a preventative measure.” Nice opener.

  • Post signs that let customers know about policies for wearing masks, social distancing, and the maximum number of people allowed in a business facility.

“Create a hostile climate for dissident customers in order to reduce violence.”

  • Advertise COVID-19-related policies on the business website.

“Create a hostile climate for dissident customers in order to reduce violence.”

  • Assign two workers to work as a team to encourage COVID-19 prevention policies be followed, if staffing permits.

Teamwork? But but but social distancing! Also, “if staffing permits” is a total nonstarter after four months of economic suicide plus a Canceled tourist season.

  • Provide employee training on threat recognition, conflict resolution, nonviolent response, and on any other relevant topics related to workplace violence response.

“Education creates good citizens! With enough education there will be no problems!”

  • Put in place steps to assess and respond to workplace violence. Response will depend on the severity of the violence and on the size and structure of the business.

“Education creates good citizens! With enough education there will be no problems!”

  • Remain aware of and support employees and customers if a threatening or violent situation occurs.

“If workplace violence happens then you should notice it.”

  • Install security systems (e.g., panic buttons, cameras, alarms) and train employees on how to use them.

  • Identify a safe area for employees to go to if they feel they are in danger (e.g., a room that locks from the inside, has a second exit route, and has a phone or silent alarm).

“Run away!”

Lord, what women these mortals be.

Do: Be aware and call for help, preferably from a (male) authority figure you can hide behind. Don’t: argue or fight back.

Oh come on! When I tell women to do exactly that, I get shamed for misogyny. The CDC says the same thing and they get hailed as innovative heroes! I totally understand why some men choose to become male feminist bureaucrats but alas, I wasn’t joking about my self-respect.

GunnerQ’s COVID-19 Workplace Violence Guidelines:

  1. Sympathize. Take your mask off and tell the angry customer that you’ve just about had it, too, with both the masks and the government lies. This helps the subject not see you personally as the threat, redirects his anger at worthy targets and gives you the chance to breathe free for a precious minute.
  2. The customer is always right. Let him take his mask off. Let him sit close to his friends. It’s not the end of the world and you might get an extra tip if you wink and a “just for you”. If all the other customers follow his example then it’s time to have “the conversation” with senior management… right then, right there.
  3. Be patient. Hear him out. Some people relax when they vent to someone willing to listen. (Others get worked up even more and that’s when you proceed to…)
  4. Win it. A little fisticuffs can bleed off a lot of frustration for all concerned. More than a few men have bonded over ice packs apres hockey. Remember: no cops, no weapons and don’t follow them down. All y’all are just blowing off some steam if anybody asks.
  5. If the problem is a Karen or other mask Nazi then tell them no. No, you don’t care if X isn’t wearing a mask. No, she cannot talk to the manager and No, she is not a cop. Unlike the singer in the opening video.


7 thoughts on “Having Failed to Flatten the Curve, CDC Now Fails to Flatten Workplace Violence

  1. This, plus your post from the other day about California’s latest round of out-of-control wildfires (caused by institutionalized neglect of, nay, refusal to implement forestry management) really serves as fodder for the nagging question “Why does any intelligent human being pay any attention to anything that any level of government says, does, or commands?”

    It really should by now be obvious to every non-mentally retarded adult that government is, at its very best, incompetent and at its very worst malevolently harmful, often lethally so. Has the brainwashing been so thorough, so all-pervasive, and so persistent for so long that people are incapable of acting in their own obvious self-interest? Or have they become so lazy and so dependent on the mean, abusive, and stupid babysitter that they’re too terrified to break free of it?

    One would like to believe that, given the State’s current trajectory, there will come a “hey, this is way too fucked up!” moment among even the densest of the sheeple. Dare we hope that such will come before its too late to make a difference?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Best case scenario is Trump is re-elected and Libs accept federalism and decreasing federal power, or push for separation. If neither Happens we are screwed by 2024. Senate will be blue, and ds will have at least 10 more seats in house


  3. If I may, I’d like to request the full Gunner Q treatment on the current Jerry Falwell Jr. disgrace that keeps on growing. I’d love to read your take. There is plenty of sordid stuff, enough to write a whole book about the corruption and depravity involved there. I have started a brief post about it myself, just to draw some pertinent spiritual applications from the situation.


  4. “…treatment on the current Jerry Falwell Jr. disgrace that keeps on growing. ”

    There’s more to it than a pool boy with a book deal?

    “We lost the chance to flatten the curve in may. We can thank the “‘muh mask don’t stop no virus” hoax believers for that one.”

    But “flattening the curve” was in March. “Fifteen days to flatten the curve,” remember? Why were we still trying in May?

    And in March, Fauci said we didn’t need masks.


  5. “And in March, Fauci said we didn’t need masks.”

    The other day I saw an ad on TV saying that we should wear masks to protect others. I remarked to her that following:

    (1) They know the science shows that masks do not protect the wearer.
    (2) Because they don’t protect the wearer, masks are pointless unless you are infected.
    (3) They want you to feel bad for ‘killing grandma’ so they can control your behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. …the current Jerry Falwell Jr. disgrace that keeps on growing.

    It’s almost axiomatic that someone in a leadership position in a dynastic megachurch is going to become embroiled in scandal. One would think that even the pea brains who follow and look up to these guys as “Christian leaders” would have woken up and gotten a clue by now, so many other examples having presented themselves to establish a pattern.

    Liked by 1 person

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