Hypergamoid Hamster!

This is a quickie about a quickie marriage. I mean really quick, as in the groom didn’t make it to the wedding night before getting fucked. Normally the shotgun comes before the marriage, not the .380 after.

Wedding guest in Texas shoots groom in chest; bride refuses to talk

htt ps://www.foxnews.com/us/wedding-guest-texas-shoots-groom-bride-refuses-talk

A Texas couple’s wedding day ended with a guest shooting the groom in the chest and the bride refusing to cooperate with authorities, according to reports.

Yes, it’s an ethnic kind of neighborhood.

A Texas couple’s wedding day ended with a guest shooting the groom in the chest and the bride refusing to cooperate with authorities, according to reports.

It happened at a residence in Harris County Thursday night.

“A groom has been shot on his wedding day. Witnesses not cooperating with responding officers,” Capt. John Shannon, who is with the Harris County Sheriff’s Office, said on Twitter.

Investigators said those who were clamming up included the bride, KPRC-TV reported.

Priest: “Do you take Preggo Barbie for a wife?”

Groom: “I do.”

Baby Daddy: *pulls a gun* BANG BANG

Bride: “How much fo’ last rites?”

Priest: “Last rites are free. My silence to the cops, five Gs.”

A medical chopper gave the groom a ride to the hospital where he was in critical condition.

He stabilized so unfortunately, Ghetto Barbie can’t yet cash his life insurance. Man, that’s gonna be a cold marriage.

Investigators were told that a person who was invited to the wedding got into some sort of altercation with the groom, the station reported. That person then shot the groom and fled the scene.

A woman told the station she was in bed when she heard a loud commotion.

Okay, okay, this was probably a drug deal gone bad. One supposes that Hay-Soos was willing to turn water into wine but not flour into coke.

“My daughter ran into my room and said, ‘Mom, there’s shots, there’s shots, there’s shots,’” the woman said. “So we came outside to see what was going on and we saw the bride come out and she started yelling, ‘Where is he? Where is he? I need to find him.’”

Thus proving that Hubby ain’t her first love.

Video can be found here. I’d guess the bride’s weight at 190lbs.


2 thoughts on “Hypergamoid Hamster!

  1. Dang! I go to all the boring weddings and FINALLY there is an interesting one and I missed it.
    Normally I would think ending a marriage before you have to actually put up with the woman would be considered ‘dodging a bullet’. Of course this poor sap didn’t actually dodge said bullet. Ironic I guess.

    If it is a baby daddy thing, I can’t figure out why he would shoot the groom. You get a baby and all the loving you want and have no responsibilities and no B.S.

    Wimminz are WONDERFUL when you are getting them pregnant, not so much when you are married.


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