Best. Fans. EVER!

What happens when a stadium isn’t allowed to have spectators? It puts mannequins in the seats instead. What happens when store mannequins don’t have “derrieres” that fit properly in the seats? It uses sex dolls.

Sex dolls with boobs big enough to be visible from the field!

SKorean soccer team accused of putting sex dolls in seats

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The leaders of a South Korean soccer club might be feeling like boobs after they were exposed for using sex dolls to make an empty stadium look full of fans.

FC Seoul placed 30 mannequins around its stadium for a game against Gwangju FC, adding signs of life to stands void of spectators because of the coronavirus pandemic. The Seoul club said in a statement it believed the figures were ordinary mannequins.

I could support a New Normal of D-cups and 0.8 hip ratios.

The action on the field must not have been that great. People watching quickly noticed that some of the fake fans wore clothing advertising sex toys and that many of them were especially busty. As the BBC noted, pornography is banned in South Korea.

Translation, flat-chested Korean wimminz who didn’t care about the ball game quickly noticed their competition for the Ex Games!

“We had tried to add some fun in the no-spectator match,” FC Seoul said in a statement, according to The New York Times. “But we have not checked all the details, and that is clearly our fault.” The Associated Press said the team expressed “sincere remorse.”

Remorse about being caught… but I can’t be angry about their fibbing this time!

The team said it was assured by the doll supplier that the figures weren’t sex products. FC Seoul didn’t explain why it chose Dalkom, a company known for sex dolls, for the job.

Boys will be boys. Good show, FC Seoul!

This could catch on. My local restaurants are already putting giant stuffed animals into seats to encourage social distancing… and staff is already wiping them down between customers anyway…  AND there’s no risk of false rape accusations!


One thought on “Best. Fans. EVER!

  1. I could support a New Normal of D-cups and 0.8 hip ratios.

    I could endorse that. Where will the protest be, for this good cause?
    We could make it into a carnival! (Public) Stocks for fat people, for public mocking. I was going to say a dunk tank for fat people, but they might break the seat due to excess weight.
    Oh! And a guy that guesses your weight, but he puts the number on a big neon sign above your head for all to see.
    Maybe a darts game, where you need to pop balloons labeled with natural foods and avoid balloons labeled with fake / processed foods.
    How about a race, and the slowest person gets tackled by a guy in a bear suit.
    Special presentations from health professionals about the dangers of carrying excess weight.
    If we label it correctly, we should be able to get the enviro-freaks behind it, due to advocating for natural, non-chemically processed foods. Plus real foods are better to be sourced locally (less transport time), so less supposed global warming.

    Why do I get creative when it is time for bed?


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