So You Want To Attend Harvard 2020

Harvard just released its new “Terms and Conditions” for living on-campus this coming academic season. TL;DR they keep your soul in a little jar but at least there’s no fine print.

Fall 2020 Residential Community Compact

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Harvard College aims to provide a residential environment that enables student
learning and provides a safe place for students during the public health emergency
occasioned by the global COVID-19 pandemic.

Harvard College is also guided by public health practices and will promote shared
responsibility among all members of the residential community – students and live-in and other residential staff included.

In order to make an informed decision about residency, it is important that all
students who are invited to return as part of a cohort or who plan to petition to
return to on-campus housing in Fall 2020 read, understand, acknowledge, and agree
to the rules and guidelines that will be in place in the fall. These rules and guidelines may be updated and revised as we receive additional guidance from the city, state, and federal governments.

Students residing on campus in Fall 2020 will be required to sign the residential community compact: (or their parents/guardians if under the age of 18) Because COVID-19 infects individuals by spreading across and within close community networks, it is essential that every one of us in the residential community enters into a shared obligation and commitment to act prudently, safely, and in accordance with public health directives.

It doesn’t spread via close community networks. It does spread via unwashed hands but that’s no longer good enough to justify the Narrative. Let me take a moment to say that California’s Governor Newscum closed my gym… again… because according to him, requiring me to wash my hands and have my temperature taken upon entry, wash my hands and all weights every single time I put them down and wash my hands again upon exiting the gym, all while wearing a face mask and staying six feet away from everybody, has proven insufficient for containing the virus. Either he’s a total liar or all containment efforts are doomed to fail. Either way, it’s time we revoked the Pandemic Privilege card.

But I digress. The point here is that this socialist experiment has no brakes. No justification. What’s coming is simply Harvard U’s vision of the imminent socialist utopia.

As a Harvard College student,
– I understand that the College has adopted the following requirements to promote the collective well-being of our community, and specifically the students, staff, and faculty in residence or working in residences during this time period.

“I understand that everything demanded of me is for my own good, regardless of my personal beliefs.”

-I acknowledge and agree that these rules and guidelines may change as life on campus and public health guidance across the country evolve and as new testing
and tracing methods emerge, and I agree to abide by any new rules and guidelines promulgated by Harvard for application in the residential setting.

Yo college kids, the first rule of signing a contract is knowing what you’re agreeing to. This is so loosely worded that Harvard could use you as an involuntary test subject for medical experimentation so long as it “promotes the collective well-being of
our community”.

If you don’t want to be a guinea pig then you can stop right here. But let’s be honest, you were already too stupid to attend classes online from your parents’ home… the classes are all going to be online anyway.

Required Testing, Education, and Contact Tracing
– I will participate in frequent routine COVID-19 testing as directed by the College and will undertake daily wellness checks using the Crimson Clear app. I understand that
students will not be billed for testing.

– If I test positive for COVID-19, I will share truthful information with the contact tracers about others who may be at risk.

Notice that you must report your entire social life if you “test positive”. Not even if you actually have it. Wouldn’t it be funny if a “computer bug” made everybody’s first test a false positive and everybody had to enter all their childhood friends into a database?

Self-isolation, Quarantine, and Preventative Health
– If I am found to have been in contact with someone who has tested positive, I will comply with all self-quarantine protocols.

There is one single reason to attend Harvard and it’s not the academics. It’s the opportunity to socialize and network with the future leaders of American government. This one step is a killshot to building that kind of social network.

Also, goodbye fraternity life. Eh, they’d mostly been moved off-campus already. Toxic masculinity, y’know, yet somehow chicks keep finding their parties.

-Unless for health reasons the vaccine is contraindicated for me, I will receive the seasonal flu vaccine when one becomes available at University Health Services.

And so the involuntary medical experimentation begins. “We don’t have a COVID vaccine yet so until we do, we’ll use the flu vaccine.”

That illustrates the integrity and knowledge base of our top disease experts PERFECTLY.

Physical distancing, face coverings, and behavioral requirements
– I will wear a face mask or facial covering in any areas outside of my suite (i.e., any public areas, including hallways, laundry rooms, dining halls, and public spaces in
other campus buildings).

This means the shared bathroom, too. Respiratory infections are going to skyrocket.

– If any in-person gatherings are allowed at a future time…

Why would ANYBODY pay money to live on campus under these rules? There is literally no point. You’d have better socializing opportunities in the city jail.

– If any in-person gatherings are allowed at a future time, I will follow all current, posted guidelines at Harvard University, in indoor or outdoor settings, and I will neither host nor attend any gathering that exceeds the maximum number indicated.

– When accessing dining services, I will only dine in the location assigned to me. If I need accommodation for special dietary needs, I will work with the Accessible Education Office.

QED: city jail is the better choice.

– I will remain in the immediate area for the fall semester. If I must travel during the fall semester, I will notify my Resident Dean and comply with any return policies or directives, which may include testing and quarantine.

-I will not have guests in my residential suite [including family].

– I will only access my own residential building and will not access other residential buildings.

This IS jail!

– In the event that Harvard College determines that public health conditions warrant de-densification of campus…

They’re already restricting themselves to 40% capacity. One assumes the six-foot social distancing rule has no exception for walls?

…I will prepare for and fund my own personal travel home or will work with the Office of Financial Aid, as needed.

Translation, Harvard can unilaterally breach your housing agreement and stick you with the consequences. This compact is so completely one-sided that lawsuits are inevitable.

I will not pity the fool but will hope he wins.

Community Accountability:
– Any alleged violations of this compact will be reviewed by a Community
Council, which will have authority to remove a student from campus. More
information about the Community Council will be disseminated in August.

Not even a university administrator? You have to sign this before you know who will enforce this?

Overall, I like this compact. If only Harvard decides, on Day Two of the Fall semester, that students are not permitted to leave campus as a new health measure, we will have de facto incarceration of an entire future generation of Deep State microtyrants along with a complete digital record of whose asses they kissed up to during their “grooming” years.


Oh, hey, um… how do students attend church if no in-person meetings are allowed?


4 thoughts on “So You Want To Attend Harvard 2020

  1. Why would ANYBODY pay money to live on campus under these rules?

    I assume the Covid crisis will be forgotten after election day, especially if Trump loses.


  2. how do students attend church if no in-person meetings are allowed?

    Progressive(tm) people, such as the ones we want to be the leaders of tomorrow, do not go to church. Thus your question is irrelevant.


  3. Royal Canadian Navy plans to replace ‘seaman’ with gender-neutral term:

    The Royal Canadian Navy is planning to replace the term “seaman” for its junior sailors as they are searching for a term that is more gender neutral. …

    The woman responsible for the personnel policy in Canada’s navy is Cmdr. Deborah-Lynn Gates. She said that the navy is now taking new steps to become more inclusive and diverse. …

    Gates also claims that the navy is trying to make sure their most junior members can feel proud of their ranks and feel safe

    “What this will do is ensure a safe environment so there is no double entendre,” Gates said. “Definitely at the tactical level, we want to make sure our most junior members understand and feel safe when they are being called their rank, being called their name or being addressed.” …

    Huh? Women on battleships don’t “feel safe” if they’re being addressed as “seaman”? If they’re that fragile, how will they perform when enemy missiles, rockets, and torpedoes are being fired at them?

    Liked by 1 person

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