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BREAKING: Skydiver who forgot parachute dies from coronavirus
By Exavier Saskagoochie, 9 April 2020
Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying disease. Florida health officials reported that a 32-year-old Daytona resident, Carl Junior, with no preexisting conditions has died from coronavirus after jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.
“It’s true that most people who are at serious risk of dying from COVID-19 are those who are about to die from other diseases, but young and healthy people are dropping dead left and right too!” Florida coronavirus Czar Jed Goebbels said.
The Daytona man was not officially tested for coronavirus, but the doctor was pretty sure he had it and that a coughing fit was what caused him to forget his parachute and jump out of the airplane with only his Speedos.
The hospital will receive approximately $1.3 million for each COVID death but administrators assure us that this has nothing to do with the way the death was coded.
There’s a tiny, outside chance that this is fake news; however, it confirms all my preexisting prejudices so it must be TRUE!