Celebrity Daddy Issues: Mikaela Spielberg

This post is Safe For Work and it would be even if I wasn’t Christian, because Mikaela failed the boner test so badly that she reminded me of post-surgery Michael Jackson. It’s fascinating that I watched Stevie Spielberg’s movies for the adventure as a kid and now watch his personal life for the horror as an adult.

Never meet the celebrities who inspire you. The best of them are merely human.

Hat tip to horsemanbombadil on Spawney’s Space.

‘I’M A SEXUAL CREATURE’ Steven Spielberg’s daughter Mikaela is a porn star and aspiring erotic dancer – and says her dad supports her career


By Emma Parry, 19 February 2020

Englishmen have the best tabloids. I wonder what that implies about their culture.

STEVEN Spielberg’s daughter Mikaela has launched a new career as an adult entertainer, The Sun can reveal.

In an exclusive interview Mikaela Spielberg, 23, who was adopted as a baby by the legendary film director and his wife Kate Capshaw, told how she has already started self producing solo porn videos – and says she would love to land a job as a dancer in a strip club once she obtains her sex worker license.

And who wouldn’t, having an Atheist Jew Hollywood Elite with ties to a lot of high-level perverts for a surrogate father? Not to mention suspiciously blasphemous imagery… compare the famous “ET” poster to the Sistine Chapel and recall the introductory conversation between Indiana Jones and Miriam. Mikaela was doomed to be messed up and now, it seems, sadly, damned as well:

Mikaela, who speaks to her parents regularly, broke the news to them via FaceTime at the weekend and said they were “intrigued” but “not upset”.

That speaks very ill of Daddy’s teachings & guidance on sexuality.

Describing herself as a “sexual creature” she told The Sun: “I got really tired of not being able to capitalize on my body and frankly, I got really tired of being told to hate my body.

I believe the first and not the second. Nobody is telling her to hate her body. She isn’t even fat yet, although she does appear to have both hands on the fat grenade:

She was originally ethnic-black then bleached her skin a la Michael Jackson to appear as white as Daddy. (Not sure if permanent.) No way is my Winky coming out for a female that looks like she should be wearing one white glove.

“And I also just got tired of working day to day in a way that wasn’t satisfying my soul.

Making up for missing out… at age 23 in a celebrity family?

“I feel like doing this kind of work, I’m able to ‘satisfy’ other people, but that feels good because it’s not in a way that makes me feel violated.”

Mikaela first revealed her new career on social media earlier this month.

I didn’t even know there were actual certifications for sex work… outside of Las Vegas but come on, they consider Elvis impersonators to be ordained priests. Mikaela lives in Nashville and even though all of America is going down the sewer, “licensed pole dancer” in the Bible Belt is still a stretch. Heh.

If she really does pull the pin on that fat grenade then she’ll be America’s first licensed utility pole dancer. Nothing less will handle the weight.

She wrote: “I just launched my self produced adult entertainment career. Safe, sane, consensual is the goal y’all.

“My body, my life, my income, my choice. I owe not a single person my autonomy or virtue just because of a name.”

Then change your name, SPIELBERG. Did you check that privilege before spouting off your feminist dogma? You’re 23 years old right now so you’re at that awkward age: after your feminist studies degree, currently in student debt and before your exotic dancing career ends on “Cops”.

Let me quote that again:

“My body, my life, my income, my choice. I owe not a single person my autonomy or virtue just because of a name.”

On that note, Mikaela is engaged to be married!

Mikaela told how it had been a huge confidence booster to show off her large natural breasts, which she describes as her “moneymaker” – and how she plans on producing more solo erotic videos to show off her curves.

And while she said she’d be happy at turning her hand to fetish videos – she draws the line at having sex with another person on camera, out of respect for her supportive fiancé Chuck Pankow, 47.

Run, Chuck, RUN!!!



Chuck Pankow is a former American professional dart player who currently plays in the British Darts Organisation tournaments. He attended and graduated high school in Ocala, Florida, and currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee. In addition to playing darts he is a professional exotic animal handler and trainer. He started his career in 1991 at Jungle Larry’s Caribbean Gardens in Naples, Florida, working with a variety of animals including big cats, elephants, reptiles and primates among others and is currently employed as an elephant trainer at the Nashville Zoo in Tennessee.

On second thought, this celebrity marriage might go the distance. He’s a pro!

End segue.

Now in her first interview, Mikaela, who lives in Nashville, Tennessee, told how she hopes her new career choice will help her become financially independent from her Hollywood parents.

“I’ve always been a very sexually natured person, which has gotten me in trouble before. Not in a predatory way, but just in the sense that people here in the South might not yet be comfortable with that,” she said.

“My main hope is just that I get somewhere lucrative enough to where I’m not tied down financially by things. And then I can really start saying to people there’s nothing wrong with me using my body in a way that feels comfortable to support myself.

“I can’t stay dependent on my parents or even the state for that matter – not that there’s anything wrong with that – it just doesn’t feel comfortable for me.

“This isn’t like an ‘end of the road’ or ‘I’ve hit bottom’ choice.

“This is a positive, empowering choice, I realized there is no shame in having a fascination with this industry and wanting to do something that is safe, sane, consensual.”

Translated from hamsterese: “I was repeatedly raped as a child and abused until I nearly died of underage alcoholism and drug use. Now I found a man willing to help me pull my life together and I’ll do it by using the only thing anybody ever wanted me for: my body.”

And sadly, this article verifies that translation’s accuracy:

While Mikaela is now excited and positive about the future and her new career, she also spoke out – for the first time – about her difficult past in which she says she suffered sexual abuse.

She says she was groomed and abused by “predators” growing up – although she is keen to point out these men were outsiders and not anyone from her family or their circle of friends.


She says that contributed to her suffering years of mental health issues including anorexia, borderline personality disorder and alcoholism.

I’m very open about my borderline personality disorder both publicly, with friends and online – because we’re portrayed as manipulative monsters a lot,” Mikaela said.

I was right the first time. Run, Chuck!!! What happened to Mikaela was inhuman but you can’t stop a train wreck by tying yourself to it.

Mikaela says her childhood problems were exacerbated when she was sent to a boarding school for troubled teens – which instead of improving her problems and behavior – actually had the opposite effect.

“I came out of there worst than I was going in – with more anxiety and more attachment issues, more depression and more hatred from my body. I actually developed an eating disorder while I was living there,” she said.

“It’s not my parents’ fault. They couldn’t have known.”

Then why did they send you to a boarding school for troubled teens? I have an idea why it made the problem worse instead of better and it doesn’t suggest that Daddy was unaware. But I have no info to go forward with.

Mikaela eventually turned to drinking to cope with her childhood trauma – and admits that some days she drank so much she almost died.

“I was really out of control from about the age of 11 years old, even to up up to two years ago,” she said.

“So that out of control-ness only stopped pretty recently. When I was 21, I used to drink every day and that went on for like two years until I almost died a couple of times.”

Somebody needs their neck stretched for what happened to Mikaela. Why no names? I bet many law enforcement officials, not to mention paparazzi, would be interested listeners.

And these days *GQ looks at the FBI leadership* I might trust the paparazzi first.

Thankfully after working through her issues with therapists and with the support of loyal fiance Chuck she says she is in a positive place.

Mikaela added: “I’m in a good place right now, but we all have relapses. Being open in this way and sharing my story and choosing this career is not a relapse for me. I actually feel very grounded and validated right now.”

She admitted that boyfriend Chuck took a while to accept her sex industry ambitions – but now is fully supportive of her choices.

It took him a long time to come around to it because obviously in the South there’s so much shame around that still,” Mikaela said.

Thank God for that, at least. When society loses the ability to feel guilt and shame is when the kiddie-diddlers come out to play. It’s a bad sign that Chuck didn’t quit Openly Borderline Mikaela the first few times she pushed him to accept her openly promiscuous lifestyle. They say that crazies give the best sex… I suspect Chuck is thinking with his little head.

Mikaela doesn’t realize, those Christian prohibitions against “sex work” are for the physical protection of women as much as public morality. One kink that you won’t find in any red-light district: a happy ending.

“Chuck’s been super supportive, but it took him a while to get to that spot because he wasn’t sure how his social group would react to it.

“And thus far, it hasn’t been the best, but that was expected because of the environment we live in right now.”

Your daddy is a piece of human shit, Mikaela. You say he never hurt you or did you wrong… but not only did he not protect you from those monsters, right now he’s neither trying to talk sense into you or simply disinheriting you as a shameless whore. At least he’s consistent in not protecting you from the dark side of human sexuality.

No pussy pass. The way to fight against and overcome your horrible childhood is not sex work monetizing your ta-tas. And it probably isn’t a man like Chuck, so weak-Framed that he’s willing to become a social outcast for the chance to marry an out-and-proud, insane Michael Jackson lookalike.


5 thoughts on “Celebrity Daddy Issues: Mikaela Spielberg

  1. I can’t comment on what may have happened in her prior years. But engaging in this behaviour is disrespectful to herself, not empowering.
    And disrespectful to whatever man marries her. The apparent willingness of the current candidate to accept this disrespect does not make it right. But at least he is freely making his own choice to continue with her. He may lead his own family as he sees fit, regardless of my thoughts on the matter.


  2. Two things:
    Im secretly hoping that this is a “Ashton Kutcher got you” moment. Made up story/long con-esque type thing.
    Her fiancee’ is old enough he should have learned by now. Dangerous amounts of red flags. He can only get dragged around.


  3. Some adopted children end up like this when they become young adults they revert to the sins of their birth parents. Their is a “spiritual DNA” that gets passed down to children from their birth parents, to the 3rd or 4th generation. Very likely that Mikaela’s mom was a prostitute or a stripper or both.


  4. First Time commenting here, Gunner… check out “Pederastic Park” by Adam Parfrey, to further connect the dots on all this…Great illustration too!


  5. Welcome, Vortex!

    Click to access 46188171-Pederastic-Park-Adam-Parfrey-on-Steven-Spielberg.pdf

    Yeah, that’s consistent with several other inside commentaries I’ve found on the imagery of Spielberg’s works. But hard proof is still lacking. For my part, I try not to think about the odds that Mikaela just happened to have world-class bazookas. Or that Stevie might have adopted his two black kids, one boy and one girl, specifically so he wouldn’t have to hand over his natural children to the Cabal. Jews are notoriously clannish, it’s not like them to bring in outsiders like that, but it could have been purely innocent & altruistic… despite how it apparently turned out.


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