Sometimes I take my own advice and get fresh air in the great outdoors. Which means I keep up with events & related media. Which is how I found this note from the editor of Adventure Sports Journal outlining his plot to thwart cis-Christians from having fun.
Editor’s Note: American Jedi Bodhisattvas
By Matt Niswonger, Issue #110 Aug./Sept. 2019
An important conversation is happening within the outdoor industry right now, and this conversation revolves around outdoor inclusion.
How can you get more inclusive than walking out the door? Is this going to be a fat acceptance screed? “My door frame doesn’t accept me!”
Simply put, outdoor inclusion means opening the benefits of the outdoor lifestyle to everyone. For decades the outdoor industry has been recognized as a leader in the area of environmental sustainability, but when it comes to diversity there is much less to get excited about.
In my mind, the first step towards inclusion is stepping back to see exactly who gets to participate in the outdoor lifestyle. When I paddle out to my favorite surf break in Santa Cruz, who do I see? When I go to the climbing gym, who do I see? When I stand in line for a lift ticket at a ski resort, who do I see? When I go mountain biking, who do I see? Mostly I see other white people just like myself, and that’s a problem. In order for the outdoor industry to thrive and reach its potential in the coming decades, this needs to change. We need to make other groups feel welcome.
You God-damned ungrateful treacherous passive-aggressive SJW cockroach. If the existence of people like you is a problem then eat a gun already. Better men than you do it all the time these days. I bet you’re proud of our suicide rate.
In the last issue I talked about my yearning for an updated version of Jesus, a “Green Jesus” who comes to save nature and tells humans to spend more time playing outside. This version of Jesus is all religions, all races, all genders and all body types and s/he is pissed off right now because all we do is hang around indoors and make each other wrong on social media. Instead we need to challenge ourselves in the great outdoors and climb, bike, ski, and surf until we reawaken our natural sense of awe. Only then will we be in a position to save nature; when it comes from the heart. If only white people feel comfortable playing outside, then everyone else is cut off from the simple joy of reconnecting with nature.
Your version of Jesus is the government-issue Jesus. Not much else to say, except you don’t know how right you are about how pissed off HE is these days.
The message of Green Jesus is that outdoor adventure is a basic human need, and the current dysfunctional state of humanity can be traced back to the fact that so many humans have been cut off from their truest selves. Through Green Jesus we see that inclusion and environmental sustainability are two sides of the same coin. In other words, in order to save nature we also need to save humans.
Reading this is like watching Satan at work. In his windowless cubicle at Buzzfeed.
Inclusion is the right way to approach this problem, and that presents the outdoor industry with an important responsibility. That said, we can’t just give lip service to this issue and pat ourselves on the back. We need to start asking tough questions and we need to start having some difficult conversations. For example, why aren’t more white CEOs of large outdoor companies stepping aside to allow more diversity in leadership positions?
I dunno, Matt. Why aren’t you stepping aside as founding editor of ASJ so a Section 8 Somali can take your place? I bet it’s the same reason.
Why are all the outdoor clothing catalogues filled with skinny people and no plus-sized athletes?
I could just say “spandex” but it’d be more fun to show you why.
What kind of corporation buys advertising on the manboobs of an “athlete” like that? *checks* Fondital manufactures aluminum radiators. Okay, I bet he sweats early and often so that’s a lot heat ‘radiated’. Lampre produces plastic-coated steel, which makes a weighty kind of sense.
…I can’t finish my lunch.
Hey Baby, that’s a nice… line of sportswear you’ve got. Makes me wanna shop at Wal-Mart, too!
Put down the high fructose corn syrup. Step away from the high fructose corn syrup.
Buy our shoes for diabetic marathon bikers!
Right now, sincere efforts are being made to invite women, persons of color, the LGTBQ+ community, plus-sized individuals, and non Judeo-Christian faiths into the great outdoors. That said, we are only at the beginning of this process and it’s already difficult. Not everyone agrees that inclusion is the right way forward. Some people say that public lands are already too crowded and all the conversations about racism and white privilege are just making things awkward.
This is the first time I’ve seen JUDEO-Christianity punked. J-Xianism is supposed to be this great, faith-based NGO while Christianianty is toxic masculinity like you wouldn’t believe. Methinks it’s getting to be a bad time to be a Jew in North America.
In Buddhism, bodhisattvas are enlightened beings who postpone their own salvation in order to help others achieve enlightenment. Here at Adventure Sports Journal we are American Jedi bodhisattvas designing a life that revolves around outdoor adventure. We were lucky enough to discover the adventure medicine at a young age, but we are not content to live a life of joy and freedom while others wallow in misery. We seek inclusion because one of the hallmarks of authentic happiness is also wanting happiness for others.
In Lovecraftian mythology, cultists are enlightened beings who postpone their own consumption by feeding the innocent to the unspeakable abominations. Which one is Matt? Let’s just say, it doesn’t take a lot of “enlightenment” to follow a colored deity that you admit you just invented a couple issues ago.
We seek inclusion because nobody wins until everybody wins.
Cthulhu will eat me last! Everybody wins! Everybody I care about.
Do you believe the outdoor industry should work for inclusion or do you believe opening the outdoors to everyone is unrealistic, utopian, and possibly dangerous?
Ahhh, the sun setting over the mountains as I warm myself by the campfire, surrounded by the sounds and scents of God’s Creation, far away from the miseries of daily life… do you know what would make this moment perfect? A transsexual Jedi calling me a Nazi.
If you have an opinion either way, please drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. We value your input and try to include as many letters as possible in every issue.
No, he doesn’t. Hey Christians, do you think it would be a good idea if we got rid of half of you for the sake of getting rid of half of you? I’m just asking because it’s what my own, personal, Green Jesus thinks will create a utopia.
Soros eyelids on Matt, even allowing the the lack of detail. No surprise there and his wife has a better jaw than a certain James Bond villain. And… and I might be wrong, but I think they posed for this pic in a studio. The lighting difference between the people and background is stark.
He’s not even an outdoorsman! Not anymore, anyway. Too busy being a “journalist”, I suspect.
Which is why we have little to fear from his anti-Christian agenda. These people are passive-aggressive parasites. That’s why they aren’t outdoors in the first place, because freedom, self-reliance and planning for the future are to them what sunlight is to a vampire. Come to think of it, sunlight itself is probably a shared allergy. I didn’t see any tan lines on Miss Ass above.
So, why is Matt trying to converge us? Knowing that the last thing a fugly trannie atheist wants to do is follow the healthy into a remote location in order to hate on them where the police would never find their body and is probably uphill to reach, anyway?
Because he hates watching us have fun. Remember the reason he gave for wanting us torn apart and infiltrated: “We seek inclusion because one of the hallmarks of authentic happiness is also wanting happiness for others.” Yeah, that was SUCH a lie. But he’s not wrong about our happiness being his problem.
We’re happy when we unplug from their cultural zeitgeist for a few days of peace and sanity, and appreciate the works of God while getting fresh air and exercise.
Living well is the best revenge. Every moment you are happy, healthy and at peace with Father God is a moment the Matt Niswongers of this fallen world grind their teeth in frustration. And that’s more fun than shoving whiny Communists off a cliff.