There’s been another massive data breach in the financial sector, at Capital One. Fortunately, the hacker is believed to have done it for giggles rather than profit… actually, she probably did it to fund her boyfriend’s bomb-making. But the Mainstream Media says giggles and the FBI got a happy surprise when they served the search warrant, so don’t worry.
A female hacker named Paige Patterson reportedly left herself a backdoor from previous work there and went back to grab up to 10,000,000 Social Security numbers. Then she bragged about it to her peers at GitLab, Scribd and other online forums. Then SWAT kicked her door in.
Weird. Normally it’s the other way around, like Susan Mauldin, who became Equifax’s CIO by mastering the piano then fucked up her job as badly as she could, short of letting Hillary manage her servers.
Interestingly, in both Equifax’s and Capital One’s case the data breach occurred via cloud computing. Maybe that’s not the right technology for highly sensitive financial information.
Anyway, women can’t code. Not one in 100 of them, so have we found a Unicorn Hacker? *checks* Eww, twig & berries.
Paige A. Thompson, a transgender woman who used the online handle “erratic”, was charged on Monday with a single count of computer fraud and abuse in federal court in Seattle after FBI officials linked her to online posts detailing the massive data theft on Twitter and Slack, court documents show.
Looks like the MTF trannies have learned to game more systems than just the athletic field.
“Erratic” doesn’t begin to describe her. Heavy.com reports she’s had 8 jobs in 12 years, the FBI reports she was living with convicted murderer-for-hire Park Hung Quan, an ex-con who apparently slept on an arsenal of illegal firearms like a dragon on a hoard…
And Paige Thompson reports she was going to use his illegal firearms to go on a killing spree at an unnamed social media company.
You gotta read the article for yourself, it’s profusely illustrated, but here’s a quote:
Quan and his four roommates, including Paige Thompson were “temporarily restrained outside the residence” while FBI agents searched the home on July 29. “FBI agents heard Quan say that he had not yet gotten the chance to mix the precursors for ‘RDX,’ prompting one of the housemates to say, ‘shhhhh, shut up.’ Shortly thereafter, Quan said that he should have moved the acetone, prompting the same housemate to say, ‘Shut up, man.’
As prosecutors explained in the court record, RDX is an explosive chemical compound and acetone is a chemical precursor.
And yes, Quon is a convicted bomb-maker.
Thank you, “Erratic”, for showing off you l33t haxxor skillz before murdering a bunch of innocents.
Frizzy hair, dark-circled eyes and thin lips. Bad combo. Trying to code while shooting up estrogen also seems to be a bad combo.
Remember, folks, women didn’t learn know how to code until men learned how to grow boobs. And never stick your dick in crazy.