Barbie STILL Can’t Do Math

There’s been another massive data breach in the financial sector, at Capital One. Fortunately, the hacker is believed to have done it for giggles rather than profit… actually, she probably did it to fund her boyfriend’s bomb-making. But the Mainstream Media says giggles and the FBI got a happy surprise when they served the search warrant, so don’t worry.

A female hacker named Paige Thompson reportedly left herself a backdoor from previous work there and went back to grab up to 10,000,000 Social Security numbers. Then she bragged about it to her peers at GitLab, Scribd and other online forums. Then SWAT kicked her door in.

Weird. Normally it’s the other way around, like Susan Mauldin, who became Equifax’s CIO by mastering the piano then fucked up her job as badly as she could, short of letting Hillary manage her servers.

Interestingly, in both Equifax’s and Capital One’s case the data breach occurred via cloud computing. Maybe that’s not the right technology for highly sensitive financial information.

Anyway, women can’t code. Not one in 100 of them, so have we found a Unicorn Hacker? *checks* Eww, twig & berries.

Paige A. Thompson, a transgender woman who used the online handle “erratic”, was charged on Monday with a single count of computer fraud and abuse in federal court in Seattle after FBI officials linked her to online posts detailing the massive data theft on Twitter and Slack, court documents show.

Looks like the MTF trannies have learned to game more systems than just the athletic field.

“Erratic” doesn’t begin to describe her. reports she’s had 8 jobs in 12 years, the FBI reports she was living with convicted murderer-for-hire Park Hung Quan, an ex-con who apparently slept on an arsenal of illegal firearms like a dragon on a hoard…

And Paige Thompson reports she was going to use his illegal firearms to go on a killing spree at an unnamed social media company.

Park Hung Quan: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

You gotta read the article for yourself, it’s profusely illustrated, but here’s a quote:

Quan and his four roommates, including Paige Thompson were “temporarily restrained outside the residence” while FBI agents searched the home on July 29. “FBI agents heard Quan say that he had not yet gotten the chance to mix the precursors for ‘RDX,’ prompting one of the housemates to say, ‘shhhhh, shut up.’ Shortly thereafter, Quan said that he should have moved the acetone, prompting the same housemate to say, ‘Shut up, man.’

As prosecutors explained in the court record, RDX is an explosive chemical compound and acetone is a chemical precursor.

And yes, Quon is a convicted bomb-maker.

Thank you, “Erratic”, for showing off you l33t haxxor skillz before murdering a bunch of innocents.

paige thompson

Frizzy hair, dark-circled eyes and thin lips. Bad combo. Trying to code while shooting up estrogen also seems to be a bad combo.

Remember, folks, women didn’t learn know how to code until men learned how to grow boobs. And never stick your dick in crazy.


3 thoughts on “Barbie STILL Can’t Do Math

  1. Interestingly, in both Equifax’s and Capital One’s case the data breach occurred via cloud computing. Maybe that’s not the right technology for highly sensitive financial information.

    The problem isn’t the Cloud per se, but the false assumption by Cloud Service Providers’ clients that the provider is responsible for the security architecture fof the clients’ solutions and data. This is absolutely not the case; unless it’s explicitly stated otherwise in the Service-Level Agreement (SLA), the security architecture for the client solution is the client’s responsibility alone, the sole usual exception being boundary security.

    That said, I’ve learned over the last year as a lead system security administrator for both financial and health services firms (both industries that more and more heavily rely on Cloud services) that security administration is WOEFULLY under-resourced in staffing and funding, especially in small and medium-sized companies. Capital One, however, is not part of this demographic, so a breach of this simplicity level is really inexcusable. I actually hope that Capital One has LOTS of customers who are European Union citizens so that the company gets a wake-up call in the form of a crippling GDPR fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t wait to see this on the Five O’Clock news .. hold the presses ..

    This just in .. we can’t show or tell any of this story because .. 1) (s)He’s dog ugly .. and 2) it has our chosen(s) plotting a false flag .. errrr crime.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s