The Sports Illustrated Swim-Burkini Issue

Get your boners ready, young lads! Here it…Halima Aden

…comes. Ugh, what is that? A quilted mannequin?

Halima Aden Becomes First Swimsuit Model to Wear Hijab and Burkini in ‘SI’ Swimsuit Issue

By Warner Todd Huston, 29 Apr 2019

For the first time, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has featured a model in full burkini and hijab.

Halima Aden, a Somali immigrant who came to the U.S. when she was seven and who was born in in the African nation of Kenya, was photographed at her birth nation’s Watamu Beach by photographer Yu Tsai.

“I keep thinking [back] to six-year-old me who, in this same country, was in a refugee camp,” Halima said. “So to grow up to live the American dream [and] to come back to Kenya and shoot for SI in the most beautiful parts of Kenya–I don’t think that’s a story that anybody could make up.

“Sports Illustrated is proving that a girl that’s wearing a bikini could be right alongside a girl that’s wearing a burkini. And as women we can come alongside each other and be each other’s biggest cheerleaders,” the model told ABC News.

They’ve taken away our whores! This means war!

Halima made news when she became the first contestant to wear a hijab on the Miss Minnesota pageant. She became a semi-finalist and earned a contract with the IMG Modeling agency.

Miss Mogadishu-on-the-Mississippi.

Since joining the agency, Halima has appeared on the cover of Vogue, has been featured on the catwalk at New York Fashion Week, and was included as a UNICEF ambassador.

SI Swimsuit editor MJ Day insisted that beauty “knows no boundaries” and that Muslim modesty can also be beautiful.

I could describe MJ Day… but here’s her bikini pic off Instagram:

“I admire Halima,” Day said, “and I consider her an inspirational human for what she has decided to use her platform for and her work with Unicef as an ambassador. She is, in my opinion, one of the great beauties of our time, not only outside but inside. When we met, I was instantaneously taken by her intelligence, enthusiasm, and authenticity.

“We both believe the ideal of beauty is so vast and subjective,” Day concluded. “We both know that women are so often perceived to be one way or one thing based on how they look or what they wear. Whether you feel your [sic] most beautiful and confident in a burkini or a bikini, YOU ARE WORTHY.”

Boner. Test. Failed. So, SOOO failed!

Churchians have railed against the SI Swimsuit Issue for many years. Turns out, the way to kill it isn’t shaming the men. It’s including some “after divorce” pictures then bragging about how desirable-but-absolutely-not-a-sex-symbol a Kenyan migrant in a Muslim pantsuit is to America’s young men.

How can they be this colossally stupid? Do they WANT us ordinary men to root for an extinction-level asteroid impact? They chop our dicks off and tell themselves we like it.


2 thoughts on “The Sports Illustrated Swim-Burkini Issue

  1. Boner. Test. Failed. So, SOOO failed!

    Don’t count on that. There is almost certainly a porn fetish, with not just a few adherents, for Muslim hijabettes.

    How can they be this colossally stupid?

    They’ve been at it for so long that they’ve perfected it to a high art form, maybe even a science.


  2. “There is almost certainly a porn fetish, with not just a few adherents, for Muslim hijabettes.”

    No way. The very purpose of hijabs and burqas is to interfere with the male sex drive. At best, it’d be like being sexually attracted to a nun in a habit–the thrill is not the sex appeal but the excitement of violating the forbidden.

    This is MJ Day hating men for being attracted to pretty girls, which she no longer is, not her exploring new markets.


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