Physiognomy: 2019 Align Relationship Conference

In a recent post, I mentioned that Pastor John Gray, the Platonic form of Mangina clergy, would be hosting a relationship conference in September 2019. Let’s meet the speakers about to teach the Christian Church on healthy relationships!

DeVon Franklin Co-Hosting "This Is Life Live" On TLC

The crow’s-feet indicate marital/sexual stress. Tribalist nose. The middle third of the face is dominant, indicating goals of ambition & status. High cheekbones and prominent chin suggest dominance/assertiveness in social contexts. His hair & beard are organized so mentally stable & unimaginative, yet the thinness of the beard makes me suspect low testosterone.

DEVON FRANKLIN is an award-winning Film & TV producer, best-selling author, renowned preacher and spiritual success coach. Variety Magazine named him one of the “Top 10 Producers to Watch,” Ebony Magazine has distinguished him as one of the “Top 100 Influential African-Americans in America,” and even Oprah has called him “a bonafide dynamo… a different kind of spiritual teacher for our times.” Franklin serves as President/CEO of Franklin Entertainment, a dynamic multimedia entertainment company with a first-look film deal at 20th Century Fox. As a filmmaker, Franklin is producing the inspirational true story BREAKTHROUGH starring Chrissy Metz in theaters Easter of 2019. Additionally, he produced the hit animated film THE STAR and the hit film MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN. Along with his work as a producer, Franklin is the author of the upcoming book The Truth About Men, to be published in February 2019, as well as The Hollywood Commandments, New York Times bestseller The Wait (co-written with his wife award-winning actress Meagan Good) and Produced By Faith.

Is this Align Conference sponsored by Relentless Church or Oprah? Nota bene, Oprah Winfrey is a co-founder of the Oxygen Network.

About his book The Truth About men:

We hear it all the time. Men cheat. Men love power. Men love sex. Men are greedy. Men are dogs. But is this the truth about men?

In this groundbreaking book, DeVon Franklin dishes the real Truth About Men by making the compelling case that men aren’t dogs but all men share the same struggle. He uses the metaphor of a dog that needs training as a way to explore why behavior persists in men that can lead them to act against their vows, their integrity and even their character.

DeVon provides the manual for how men can change, both on a personal and a societal level, by providing practical solutions for helping men learn how to resist temptation, how to practice self-control and how to love. He argues the same discipline that drives men in their professional lives needs to be applied to their private lives. DeVon is also transparent about the challenges he faces daily as he endeavors to “Master the Dog” within.

Kirk looks more masculine than DeVon, no known relation. His lower lip is bigger than the upper, indicating masculine energy, and the philtrum (parallel lines from nasal septum to upper lip) indicate sexual energy. The recessed chin indicates against social dominance, however, and the left eye is more guarded than the right indicating personal problems. Several other pics I checked show he has “new moon” eyes, in which the lower eyelid is convex to match the upper eyelid. That’s a significant indicator of deceit/infidelity.

His wife has enough fakeup to be a porcelain doll. Let’s try a better pic:

Tammy Franklin Pictures - 13th Annual BMI Trailblazers Of Gospel Music Awards Luncheon - Zimbio

Not much better, but we can confirm high cheekbones and an aquiline nose. The latter indicates distrust and self-reliance. The jaw is not too pronounced to believe she’s a battleaxe but the flatness of the lower eyelids confirms the nose’s indication of self-reliance. Hoop earrings = whore.

Kirk & Tammy Franklin
Relevant, authentic, and transparent, are just a few words that come to mind when you think of Kirk and Tammy Franklin. These are the driving forces (along with the importance of their faith) that has sustained their 23 year marriage. The fun loving couple resides in Fort Worth, Texas and together they have four children ranging from ages 18 to 30. Kirk Franklin a Ft. Worth, Texas native is known as an incomparable artist, speaker, a New York Times best selling author, businessman and humanitarian, and after more than 25 years as the top selling artist of inspirational music, multiple Grammy award winner, and he shows no signs of slowing down. But Kirk Franklin believes his greatest accomplishment is being the Husband and best friend of his wife, Tammy. Tammy Franklin grew up in Arlington, Texas and is passionate about marriage, family and women. Tammy has a desire to nurture, encourage, and equip women of all ages to be who they are created to be. Believing that when women come together to share both their triumphs as well as their failures, an atmosphere of real authenticity is created! Together Kirk and Tammy are enthusiastic about marriage and equipping couples, as well as individuals to walk in freedom, with a pursuit of a personal relationship with God. Believing it is through intimate relationship with His son, Jesus that we are able to obtain direction for every facet of our lives.

From Wikipedia,

A native of Fort Worth, Texas, Franklin was raised by his aunt, Gertrude, having been abandoned as a baby by his mother. Gertrude collected and resold aluminum cans to raise money for Kirk to take piano lessons from the age of four. … Despite his strict religious upbringing, Franklin rebelled in his teenage years, and in an attempt to keep him out of trouble, his grandmother arranged an audition for him at a professional youth conservatory associated with a local university. He was accepted, but later he had to deal with a girlfriend’s pregnancy and his eventual expulsion from school for behavioral problems.

After the shooting death of a friend at the age of 15, Franklin returned to the church, where he began to direct the choir once again.

On January 20, 1996, Franklin married long-time friend Tammy Collins. When they wed, they each had one child from previous relationships…

In 2005, Franklin appeared with his wife on The Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss how he ended his pornography addiction.

The cure for pornography addiction is a frisky wife. Either Franklin was porn-free since Jan. 20, 1996 or his wife is a failure.

His recessed eyes and dominant upper third of face mark him for a logical mind. Scraggly beard can mean low testosterone but with all of his head shaved that way, it might just be the look he affects. Notice his hairline is in an “M” shape? That indicates a spiritually-minded outlook on life. That doesn’t just mean religion; people with spiritual faces tend to have very high, very personal standards of behavior that make them hard to get along with. This guy might have something legit to teach about marriage.

The wife had gab lines. There’s one arcing line from the nostrils around the mouth to the chin. Everybody has that but not everybody has the secondary line parallel to that. That’s the gab line, or depending on the subject’s body mass, the flab line.

She likes to talk. He likes to think. Cue some very standard relationship problems, a refreshing change from… from the next person on the program.

Pastor Clayton & Ashlee Hurst
Clayton and Ashlee have been married for over 20 years and have 3 children. They have been on staff at Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas since 2004 where they currently serve as the Marriage Pastors. For many years Clayton and Ashlee struggled in their marriage not understanding how to have a successful union the way God intended. As they began to work on their marriage by focusing on how to love and communicate with each other more effectively, their relationship became stronger. Clayton and Ashlee don’t have a perfect marriage but today they have a strong marriage and have a passion to help others. At Lakewood Church they lead pre- marriage and marriage classes, marriage life groups, and marriage retreats that have hundreds of couples participating regularly. For the last few years they have hosted Lakewood’s Spark Marriage Conference with thousands of couples from around the world in attendance. They are the authors a marriage book from Emanate Books & Thomas Nelson Publishing is called Hope For Your Marriage.

Lakewood Church is Joel Osteen’s home so this couple does ministry under his direction.

I checked on the book and don’t have any strong criticism of it, although reviewers compared it to that “Love Languages” book. No strong optimism, either. This couple seems like ordinary Churchians, no major flaws and floating with the current culture. They’re also experienced conference campaigners and probably the brains behind this show.

Holy spit! Her repentance was insufficient for a change of wardrobe, let alone a change of heart. Studded biker leathers and crucifixes down the cleavage need no interpretation. She shaved her head and dyed the mangled remainder so she’s damaged in ways that make her a most unreliable expert on how to be a feminine, submissive wife. But maybe I’ll be surprised?


Uh-oh. This lesbian played down her sexual degeneracy for this Church-friendly photo. Oxygen Channel has this:

Same leather jacket.

Kim Pothier
Kimberly Jones-Pothier, known as Real Talk Kim, travels the world fulfilling her passion and purpose of loving people back to life. She is a wife, mother, pastor, entrepreneur, best-selling author, entertainer and most importantly a worshiper after God’s own heart. Pastor Kim and her husband Mark Pothier are the Senior Pastors at Church of the Harvest in Fayetteville, Georgia and together have four sons. She is a human rights advocate with a passion for giving back and believes in the compassion of the Holy Spirit, delivering it to those who need it most. Pastor Kim is an advocate partner with Rock Paper Scissors Foundation, a Non-profit organization, which exists to foster healing and give a voice to those who have been silenced from all forms of abuse and human trafficking.

It’s all there in the first sentence. She’s a mother who travels the world fulfilling her passion of clearly-not-her-children. Helpmeets do not live the jet-set life. In fact, thus far none of the female speakers for this event are housewives. They’re all clergy. Which itself is a violation of Scripture.

Rock Paper Scissors Foundation is a Social Justice NGO advocating space spaces for women.

By wearing a band-aid during the month of October (Domestic Violence Awareness Month) we aim to start the very uncomfortable conversation about domestic violence.


Wear a band-aid every day in October. When asked about the band-aid, engage in a conversation with them about Domestic Violence to create awareness to the epidemic.

“Real Talk Kim” also leads an organization called Conquering Hell in High Heels. Talk about making peace with worldly ways.

Forgive my memeing, I couldn’t resist. The guy is a Nu-Male template of oversized smile to indicate servility, crows-feet indicating ISSUES and a wispy beard & trendy haircut making conflicting attempts to blend into a crowd of Millennials. Good dentist, though. The Eighteenth Century would be jealous.

She’s got too much fakeup. Might have a Goth background, just because she wears black and parts her hair in the middle. I can imagine her trolling a Magic: the Gathering tournament for a husband.

Pastor Chad & Julia Veach
Chad Veach is the Lead Pastor of Zoe Church in Los Angeles, California. He is best known for his humorous, faith-filled and joyous approach in presenting the message of Jesus, his practical leadership teachings, and his love for people. He has also authored two books: Unreasonable Hope: Finding Faith in the God Who Brings Purpose to Your Pain and Faith Forward Future: Moving Past Your Disappointments, Delays and Destructive Thinking. Chad and his wife Julia have four beautiful children: Georgia, Winston, Maverick, and Clive. Julia Veach, along with her husband Chad are the Lead Pastors of Zoe Church in Los Angeles, California. Though both hers and Chad’s influence have grown over the years, it’s their daughter Georgia’s story that has captured the attention of the world. Since she was diagnosed with a rare brain disorder in 2012, thousands have stood with Chad and Julia and shown their support. Julia now leads the women’s movement HER within the Zoe Church community and often travels to speak. Julia and Chad have four beautiful children: Georgia, Winston, Maverick, and Clive.

Hmm. The author of Finding Faith in the God Who Brings Purpose to Your Pain and Moving Past Your Disappointments, Delays and Destructive Thinking is described as humorous, faith-filled and joyous. Denial is the first stage of grief but Chad could also be Stage Three, Bargaining.

I hope the double mentioning of their kids is a typo. Chad wouldn’t be the first father to have the life goal of “first the kids grow up, then I can slit my wrists. But first, the kids grow up. They need their father”.

Forget their faces. Look at that body language. It’s the Leaning Tower of My Husband Disgusts Me.

Pastor Rich & DawnCheré Wilkerson
Rich & DawnCheré Wilkerson are the lead pastors of VOUS Church in Miami, FL. Rich and DawnCheré are the founders of VOUS Conference, an annual gathering in the heart of Miami centered on encountering God, equipping the church, and empowering the next generation of leaders. Rich is the author of two books—Sandcastle Kings: Meeting Jesus in a Spiritually Bankrupt World and Friend of Sinners: Why Jesus Cares More About Relationship Than Perfection. In 2015, they offered a peek inside their world with their docu-series, Rich In Faith, a 10-episode feature on the Oxygen network. And in 2018, after eight years of trusting God through infertility, Rich and DawnCheré welcomed their son, Wyatt Wesley Wilkerson, into the world.

The Oxygen network AGAIN? This reminds one of that Simpsons episode in which Rev. Lovejoy’s church is taken over by the Mafia and run for profit. “Rich In Faith” is, get ready for this, the Christian Gospel packaged in the form of a reality TV show.

American culture has sunk to the depths of THIS:

Hipster Church: Reality Show ‘Rich in Faith’ Is a Little Too Real

By Caroline Barnett, 16 February 2016

Rich Wilkerson Jr. is no ordinary pastor. He rose to fame as the pastor who officiated the wedding of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian in 2014. Because of his good looks and famous friends, Wilkerson was dubbed by entertainment news outlets as the “hottest holy man around.”

That answers a question I never thought to ask: what clergyman perjured himself before God Almighty to the point of locking a Kardashian into ‘lifetime’ matrimony? Officiating at any Hollywood celebrity marriage ought to be grounds for clerical malpractice and defrocking. Let the Elvis Impersonators handle it!

In his new reality show Rich in Faith, Rich Wilkerson Jr. tells his fellow pastor, current boss, and father Rich that he’s planning a worship service at a venue called The Stage, a trendy local bar — that yes, has a liquor license. In this clash of generations, Wilkerson Sr. is shocked that his son would lead a worship service in place marked by the trappings of “moral debauchery.” He questions the decision, then jokes about it, but ultimately agrees to come see the first service.

That’s right! I won’t attend any church that doesn’t have a two drink minimum! This could be the revival we’ve been looking for!

Rich in Faith, which debuted in December on Oxygen Network, tells the story of Wilkerson Jr. and wife DawnChere as they start a church plant in downtown Miami, Fla. Following the rise of Wilkerson’s status of “celebrity pastor,” this show frames the story of Wilkerson as butting up against the establishment, the tradition and order of Christianity, all manifested in the megachurch his father planted. Based on this interaction alone, Wilkerson Jr. is a rebel, a visionary, and mapping “new” ways of practicing Christianity.

In a press release from August 2015, Oxygen Network announced that, “Rich is smashing stereotypes about religion with his successful young adult ministry,” and the couple is “eager to share their innovative and thought-provoking ministry.”

Please stand clear of the fireballs from Heaven. Any time now, Jesus… with my blessing.

But despite the narrative of being different than “old” Christianity, hipster Christianity and the “celebrity” pastors that lead it are not the first to find themselves in the intersection of fame, Christianity, and new media.

Within the last sixty years, numerous pastors have used new forms of media — beginning with television — to reach thousands of people eager for their message. Pat Robertson founded the Christian Broadcasting Network, which continues to appeal to millions of people around the world. Joel Osteen’s ministry is broadcasted into every U.S. television market. And Billy Graham, arguably one of the most famous evangelical pastors, started radio and television programs, as well as numerous books, a magazine, and a syndicated newspaper column. Before hipster Christianity was on Instagram, these televangelists utilized methods of evangelizing considered new and strange.

And looking even further back — specifically, New York during the 19th century — I found a prototype of hipster Christian pastors in Charles Finney. Finney shook up American Christianity during the Second Great Awakening with emotional preaching and an evangelical fervor that led thousands of people to convert to Christianity. Finney rubbed against “traditional” forms of Christianity and practiced innovative forms of worship — sometimes holding worship in the forest rather than in pews.

Finney used the forest because he needed the space and wasn’t always welcome in local churches. Wilkerson uses the Oxygen network because he needs the advertising revenue to pay for his liquor bill license. Big difference.

While I’m not opposed to churches using social media, doing so for profit is a serious moral risk.

Instead of being innovative, hipster Christianity and its portrayal in Rich in Faith feels like more of the same — the same as televangelists that used new media to spread their message of prosperity, the same faces of young white men who get lifted up as the singular voices of generations. From Rich Wilkerson Jr. in Miami to Chad Veach in Los Angeles and Carl Lentz in New York, hipster Christian pastors, who are gaining massive followings like their televangelists ancestors, all have similar messages — and similar looks.

Surprise! We just talked about Chad immediately above Wilkerson here. This must be a HIPSTER relationship conference!

In framing Rich in Faith as “new and innovative,” the show denies not only the historical foundation that led to its arrival, but also removes the diversity of voices that exist within Christianity. Trendy evangelical worship led by cool young white men does not begin to touch the breadth of diverse practices in the Christian world, nor does it lift up voices of those who do not fit our current mold of what a pastor looks like.

The people featured in Rich in Faith are not all white, nor all male, but that does not make up for the larger issue of white men being the centerpiece of this “new” Christianity. If hipster Christianity, as its branded, is for anyone seeking a relationship with Christ, why do the people popping up on reality TV, getting book deals, and being called the new face of Christianity all look the same? What exactly is new or different about that?

Rich in Faith is meant to be easily digestible and entertaining. It is a reality TV show, after all. It focuses on things we can relate to on some level: family dynamics, work-life balance, growing up. But it is all done through the lens of one good-looking charismatic person. By calling itself new and innovative, the show ignores the way its story, as well as the phenomenon it represents, is not so different from the white-washed, male-dominated world we live in.

What da funk? The article ends by claiming the problem with hipster culture is being white male-dominated? What bitch wrote this article?

Caroline Barnett, Editorial Assistant to Sojourners. Hair is very obviously cut. Lots of cleavage showing off how little boob she has. A self-uglified white female is angry that white men are dominant? Sounds like somebody had a college education.

A transplant from the Midwest, Caroline grew up in Kansas City and went to school at Kalamazoo College (yes, Kalamazoo is a real city). There, she studied Religion and Anthropology/Sociology with a focus on American Christianity, feminist theology, and conceptions of religious and secular space. While at school, Caroline spent a lot of time in the basement of the Chapel, learning to love messiness of interfaith work.

She studied Satanism and spent a lot of time getting laid by Commies & Muslims in the chapel’s basement… on the spare altar?

An avid member of the Presbyterian Church (USA), Caroline has served the Church as a Ruling Elder, an intern for the Covenant Network of Presbyterians, and an Advisory Delegate to the PC(USA) 221st General Assembly. She has also helped keynote Presbyterian youth conferences. None of this would have been possible without the profound examples of grace the PC(USA) has continually demonstrated to her.

Profound examples of Original Sin, she means. According to the Presbyterian Outlook, Barnett enrolled in the Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in 2016, so probably just graduated. Yet another female leader-pastor slash living abomination lusting to infect Christianity with Social Justice.

Just like every female speaker at this relationship conference.

Looks like their message of friendship with the world and Fuck You Sky Daddy is getting heard.


2 thoughts on “Physiognomy: 2019 Align Relationship Conference

  1. Not sure how I feel about the science behind your observations, but funny nevertheless.

    Was half expecting DMX to be a speaker, on the topic of what it means to be a dog.


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