The Sound Of A Feminist Passing Gas

“I will gut you!” …seriously! And I couldn’t resist the headline wordplay. What do they put in the water in Broward County, Florida, anyway?

Florida woman accused of pulling knife on customer she offended when she passed gas

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/florida-woman-pulls-knife-customer-offended-passed-gas-124939089.html

Usually, when you pass gas in public, it results in blushing and embarrassment, but one Florida woman ended up arrested over the ordeal.

Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, of Dania Beach, Fla., was waiting in line at a Dollar General when she passed gas. The customer standing by her, John Walker, allegedly took offense and the two got in a verbal dispute “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” according to the Broward County Sheriff’s Office complaint affidavit.

Dollar General, the only place in America where gas is 99 cents.

In response, Wilson allegedly pulled a small “lock back knife” from her purse, opened the knife and told the victim she was going to “gut” him. According to the police report, she pulled back her right hand, which was holding the knife, in a position to attack the victim.

According to the affidavit, Walker was “in fear that he was going to be stabbed by the defendant.” 

Actually, he didn’t take the knife threat seriously because he knew Wilson was only full of hot air. I must give credit for that to commenter “kittyskyfish”.

The woman was found by deputies walking in the area near the store and identified by Walker. She was arrested and taken to the Paul Rein Detention Facility in Pompano Beach. She has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, and her bail was set at $2,500.

The Broward County Sheriff’s Office did not immediately respond to Yahoo Lifestyle’s requests for comment.

I’m surprised they responded at all to a black woman acting entitled with a pocketknife. Only guns can kill! And Trump isn’t going to sue himself.

Shanetta Yvette Wilson Mugshot - Shanetta Yvette Wilson Arrest - Broward County, FL - Booked for ...

Even in her mugshot, she looks like she’s gonna blow chunks. She might have cutting eyelids but it might just be glare, seeing how brightly lit the rest of her face is. There’s speculation that those marks next to her right eye are teardrop tattoos, which would indicate either two homicides or ten years in jail. More award-winning comments:

New meaning to cutting in line.

Yahoo didn’t need to put Florida in the headline. I had already guessed the location.

I’m glad she didn’t pull a cigarette lighter.

Keeping it classy Florida!

She’s just misunderstood. She’s a ‘good girl’ who just had some bad food!

The pictures were slow to load, but when I saw name Shanetta, I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed.

I’m just glad Yahoo got wind of this story and passed it on to us.

As the in-store music played that Bette Midler classic “You are the Wind Between my Knees.”

Any chance she’s single?

Likes flowers and long walks.

Bowel Movements Matter

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” – MLK

ADDENDUM

My apologies, readers. That was Shanetta’s PREVIOUS mugshot photo from 2017, possession of cocaine with intent to sell. The July arrest for cocaine, mind you, not the March arrest for cocaine. This is her current mug:

“He” has lost some weight! $2,500 bail for a repeat drug dealer seems awfully low. Maybe Broward Sheriff is hoping she’ll pay it and jump it, and save them the cost of a cot.

Whoa, wait up. I gotta list this out:

January 2012: Parole violation (can’t find earlier records)

April 2013: Unspecified charges, County Jail.

March 2014: Fort Lauderdale (copypasting because damn, girl, slow down):

  • #1 FAIL WEAR SAFETY BELT/OPER

    STATUTE: 316.614(4)(B)

  • #2 FAIL TO REGISTER MOTOR VEHICLE

    STATUTE: 320.02(1)

  • #3 ATTACH REGISTRATION LICENSE PLATE NOT ASSIGNED

    STATUTE: 320.261

  • #4 OPERATING W/O VALID DL

    STATUTE: 322.03(1)

  • #5 FAIL PROVIDE PROOF LIABILITY SECURITY

    STATUTE: 316.646

  • #6 POSS CANNABIS 20 GRAMS LESS/ SYNTH CANN 3 GMS LESS

    STATUTE: 893.13-6b

    BOND: $100

  • #7 FALSE ID GIVEN TO LEO

    STATUTE: 901.36-1

  • #8 VIOL OF PROB – FEL

    STATUTE: VOP-FEL

    NOTES: COCAINE PUR/POSS W/INT PUR

June 2016 Possession of cocaine with intent to sell in Broward County

March 2017 Possession of cocaine with intent in Hollywood

July 2017 Possession of cocaine with intent, jurisdiction: the Courthouse???

November 2018 Assault with deadly weapon, Broward County

 

 

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