Wintry Knight has a Tradcon staple of a post up, “ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE? 10 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT HOW PREPARED YOU ARE”, presumably directed at women since no sane man would approve of no-fault divorce and such.
The premise that asking a young woman for her beliefs on topics such as child care and small gov’t measures her marriageability is fatally flawed. Women are emotional, not rational. Today she sincerely loves you, tomorrow she will sincerely hate you, repeat next week. The assumption that what she believes as an unmarried 18yo indicates what she will believes as a married 38yo is wishful thinking… thinking that the female brain acts just like the male brain, hence the Tradcon reference.
As an alternative, I offer just two questions to gauge her worthiness:
1. Does she have crazy eyes? Incurable STDs? (Since virginity is generally off the table.)
2. Does she refuse to wear pants?
That’s all. A marriage-worthy female knows how to keep her legs together and acts feminine in defiance of peer pressure. That’s all you need for a good start, a salvageable female with a couple healthy habits. None of this “Are you a registered Libertarian” or “is your long-term life goal being a stay-at-home-Mom”. Chicks are great at giving the correct answer. Not so great at meaning it for longer than a month. If you take away nothing else from this article then take away this: don’t ask a female if she’s a good marital risk. Look instead. She’ll tell you whatever you want to hear.
Of course, this is insufficient to ensure a marriage stands the test of time. There is nothing the groom can do or check to ensure that. (Aside from moving her out to the boonies and keeping her busy with 15 children, which has actually become a thing.) This is why good gov’t tracks and enforces the marriage vows. Preventing people from reneging on their agreements is an essential duty of good gov’t. Once she says “I do”, she is not allowed by the authorities to divorce whether she wants it or not. THAT is something that can stand the test of time. That is something the groom can count on.
Which explains a few things in the modern era. Example, why husbands don’t kill their feral wives. The problem is not that wifey wants out–Christ and the saints had to teach “do not divorce” because people routinely get around to wanting out–it’s that gov’t, whose job is to rein in wifey when it happens, rewarded her instead. It’s not treachery when a marriage hits hard times. It’s treachery when those whose job is to cover your back, give you a shove instead.
One-man jihads against the State aren’t going to keep your family intact.
It also explains why unofficial marriage has not caught on with the traditional-thinking folks. “We don’t need government approval to get married!” So you have an informal ceremony with only the priest and God for witnesses, live happily for a few years, then Stella asks Chad for help in getting her groove back. What can hubby do, when there isn’t even a public record of the marriage? Ask Friar Bob to wave a registry book?
There is no replacement for gov’t enforcement of marriage vows. “Gov’t” may not mean civil government specifically here; it can mean Church authority or even the next-door neighbors. Here’s the kicker, though: whatever “gov’t” you choose to enforce marriage must have the power to detect and punish evil. Is your priest going to use the churchyard stockade on the wayward spouse? Are your neighbors willing and capable of tracking down wifey in another state and kidnapping your kids back to you? I’ll guess no. No more than the divorce courts will inflict humiliating punishments upon Barbie pour encourager les autres.
If the authorities of society will not enforce marriage than marriage is dead. Full stop. It’s become nothing more than two people wishing each other well and applying for joint tax status. There is nothing ordinary folks can do to bring it back. This is our leaders’ fault, not ours. Do not advocate ways to “make marriage work regardless”. Advocate the replacement our treacherous, God-hating leaders.
Minimizing the predictors of divorce is like minimizing risks in a casino. That’s good, that’s smart, but if you really were smart then you wouldn’t be there.